Let's Talk About Irony

I wonder who's winning.

 Being an anemic, I love irony. When I see irony I am filled with a dramatic, Socratic glee that would make those singing kids on TV cry because their lives aren't as awesome as mine is at that moment in time.  Thus, I like it when irony occurs in my life...so long as it's, you know, awesome irony and not the shitty kind that makes me cry at night because my life isn't as awesome as the singing kids on TV.

What, was it like...a week ago when I was bitchin' about how I was gonna take it easy on writing and blah blah stop dreamin' blah blah blah woe is the Shakespeare cat with a play sword wedged in its fluffy chest blah blah...

That all pretty much still stands, except today I got a random phone call from a reporter for the city newspaper asking if they could do an Art Column piece on me and my Wonderful World of Writing.  Just a blurb of 500 words + pic of me in the local weekly paper.  She found me via that Nano article I was in a couple months ago.

OH WHAT LIKE I WAS GONNA SAY NO?

What an odd time for this to happen.  Sometime in the next couple of weeks the entire county is going to be reading about my authorin' ass, and the timing is quite lovely because it'll be a week or two before the regional writers' conference (which I will be attending).  Huh.  Hmmmm.  Something is afoot.  I do not trust this auspiciousness. CLEARLY THINGS ARE ABOUT TO CRUMBLE.

Regardless, this has prompted me to get some shit together and be productive (gasp) and attempt, MAYBE overhauling my site. (So if anybody knows of a good place to get some nice templates or just WANTS TO DO IT FOR ME~~) I mean, what if people look me up and see that pile of shit.  And even better, I might get readers out of this, because damnit I love you guys but y'all ain't much help here right now, ha.

I should also get to finishing the first draft of Rebirth.  I'm like...two chapters away.  It's ridiculous.

BUT ANYWAY I'LL BE SURE TO TELL EVERYONE HOW IT GOES. If I get around to it. \o/

You can wish in one hand and...well...in the other...

Well, it's only been since Nano since I last updated this. What can I say ~real life~ happened. Mostly the last hurrah of the worst year ever (sounds like lots of people wish 2010 would have just jumped off a cliff).

During that time I spent a lot of time thinking and wondering the usual: what I want to do with my life, what will make me happy, etc etc. And I came to a surprising conclusion - I had absolutely no idea anymore. Perhaps that was a primary source of all my ~issues~...thinking that I knew what I wanted to begin with, when I was just bitching crap.

This is related to the theme of this blog, I promise. In the course of all this I was forced to make a decision about my ~writing career~...namely that I don't care about one anymore. I spent a long time harboring the goal and the dream of becoming a published author, and now I've realized I must get rid of that as well as all my other goals and dreams. Clearly, many people would disagree with this, but the best I can do for myself right now is stop putting so much stock in "dreams" (what are those anyway, somebody plz tell me) and just live my fucking life and try not to have so many breakdowns. This in the long run means no more being frantic about not meeting my writing goals or even wondering about a future as an author. Writing is no longer a means for me to tell stories but now serve as the primary way I work out my own views and issues .

That was all a part of me telling 2010 to go fuck itself. I was completely decimated as a human being, by my own devices and via others, but I am not the type to blindly and delusionally say "I will build myself up and be stronger!!!" No, I'm the type to say "and now I just do what helps the most" with no predilection in that direction. I can only wonder how long it will last.

This blog will continue, but I will no longer make myself feel guilty for not updating it on some abstract schedule, as that is my own view towards writing in general now. INSTEAD, guys, I've spent all my writing time sending my characters through the Sims 3 again and laughing at all the quirky ideas they gave me. There is hip-hop in the future of my Nano novel, if I ever get around to writing it at all.

SO YES THIS POST. idk. Hi? First post of 2011? lol idk. Forget I said anything at all~

Mindless Porn, and Other Shortcuts.

Wow, it's been about two weeks since I last updated this.  Normally, especially during nano season, I'm right on top of things, but this year alone has done a huge toll on me mentally and emotionally, to the point that even writing is unable to give me an outlet to my more destructive tendencies. But this is not my personal journal, and if you're also following my personal journal then I'm sure you're sick and tired of listening to me whine about shitty therapists, concern trolls, and emotional trauma!  So with that sordid excuse out of the way, let's talk Nanowrimo.

My main issue since my last posting is that I fell considerably behind (because of my ~issues~) and just did not meet my goal of finishing the first draft manuscript of CROSS//Rebirth.  It happens.  The issue that followed though was  I had no idea what to do about Nano.  It was my original intent to start work on Revenge, the first time in the history of Nano that I would start fresh on a manuscript and not be a "rebel" (I hate that term, ugh.)  But I am also close enough to finishing the other story that...well, you know!  

So I bet you're just dying to know what I'm doing.

Well, as of about 1 am on November first, I started writing.  A fresh document on a fresh story.  And not even an hour later I was annoyed because I hate writing sequels!  I hate it because of my own writing issues, mostly because I forget that I have to assume the reader never read the first one and I have to reintroduce all the people and their relationships to each other, the highlights of the previous novel, what's going on with this one and why it's important...all the while molding it into the current story so the reader gets the info without being bombarded by it.  I think the hardest thing is that I don't have closure with the previous story, because it's not finished yet.  So I'm going from all the characters angsting over the world ending and firing bullets at each other to everyone frolicking down the street and offering coffee to each other.  (Okay, not -literally-, but it's a fun image.)  Bit odd, really.  But I'm working on it, and hopefully after the first chapter I can move on normally.  Depending on I figure out what I'm writing about, of course.. 

Meanwhile there's lots of ML stuff I'm doing, such as getting ready for a write-in this Wed. and another on Sunday.  I hope they go well.

And with that, it's almost midnight which means I need to write about another three-thousand, which is about my daily goal at this point, since I'll be absent this weekend and the n ext.  At this exact moment I am confident I will win again, but the way my feelings keep jumping up and down it's also possible I will just break down halfway through. We'll see.

More NaNoWriMo Wank!

Yesterday I got my Nano stuff in the mail. Most of it was gifted to me, so I only had to pay for the posters. I like the one poster, it's made of great quality, is really colorful, and has all the goals for each day on it. The other poster is a standard Night of Writing Dangerously promo poster that I don't really need. I also got the ML shirt that actually looks pretty good on me, and a keychain, which you can't really see. I only had to pay for shipping. Yay! Still no ML stickers though, but maybe those were shipped separately. I spent most of today canvassing my region leaving Nano promo posters at places like libraries, so let's hope it brings in some new members! This next week I need to put out some dates and locations for write-ins so I can get some feedback on them. Two more weeks! (And two more days until my birthday, ugh.)


I'm up to god knows how many words now, but it doesn't matter anymore because I should be able to finish the draft before November. I'm taking a break today because I'm so tired and need to rest my mind a bit. I'll probably take a break on my birthday too. Hopefully I won't need those 4000 words.

So many words.

Not a high enough typing speed.

BUT WHATEVER I HAVE A ML SHIRT.

This is starting to look a little "iffy'.

Well, ten days in (I haven't written today yet) and here are the current numbers:
Total Words Written in October: 13,307
Average Words Per Day: 1,331
Behind By: 3,363

Not too bad when I finally look at the numbers like that. My original goal was to write the standard 1667 a day, but I switched that up to 2000 when I was starting to fall monstrously behind only a few days in. It helps now that I can finally see the ending of the draft coming, even if it feels so slow getting to it. If I keep writing 2k a day I should be able to more than meet my goal, but of course, the ultimate goal is finishing this draft before November. Easier said than done!

Also from the Nano news from, my job as regional ML is finally starting to begin as members come out of the woodwork on the site. Currently there are 13 people signed up to my region (it's a small region, okay - there were 63 last year.) and about six have said hi so I'm counting that as a success, ha. Pretty soon right around my birthday I'll have to start planning a kickoff party, and hopefully people will like it. Tonight I'll be printing off fliers to post in the libraries and bookstores around here, which is a GOOD IDEA because so far all my people are coming from North Bend and that's on the opposite end of the county.

You know what, screw this. It's taken me TWO HOURS to get this blog entry done. I've gotta go write guys. I'VE GOTTA GO WRITE.

Number Games: A Beginning in Fail

After recently declaring that I intended on finishing the manuscript for CROSS//Rebirth by November so I could purely work on the next installment and get its first 50k words in for NaNoWriMo...I'm kinda failing already.  Well, not totally. So far for October I've written 3322 words, but that still leaves me behind and blahblahblah.  At this point I'm not entirely sure I will be able to make it...and then what?  I am close enough to finishing this manuscript that it would not be worth doing Nano for just to immediately start the next one in the same month. At this point my goal is just to get as much as possible done, whether it's 30k or 50k or just the few remaining chapters I have scripted out.

 It also does not help that I had an author's revelation on the series-running plot last night.  I had one of those "HOLY CRAP WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS CHARACTER" moments and while totally  awesome, it will require doing a lot of rewriting in certain spots when I start to do revisions on the current manuscript.  Basically, what I'm getting at is...I have a lot to do, and not a lot of physical time to do it in.  I would love to do some notes and further planning for this new idea I've had, but with all the actual writing I've got to do it may be going back to a basic idea.

Just gotta focus, right? Riiiiiight.  Somebody pass me a Ritalin.

NaNoWriMo Season is Afoot.

Feel the writin' burn.

Well, it's time.

National Novel Writing Month 2010 season is here!

Just to get things out of the way, if you would like to add me as a writing buddy, here is my profile!

This year is a bit different for me. Not only do I plan on working on a "new" novel this year, but I am also acting as Municipal Liaison of my home region, Oregon South Coast. It's gonna be a  busy couple of months, but you know, I'm unemployed and have the time to do it. 

Now here's the REAL announcement from my writing front.  I am too close to finishing the manuscript for CROSS//Rebirth for me to want to work on it this November. So my goal is to write 1700 words a day until I finish the first draft. And then for Nano? The next installment for the series, CROSS//Revenge is up. I already have most of what I needed outlined for it, so the real challenge is finishing up the first manuscript!

I have no idea how many pages are left, but I'm nearing the final confrontation and it should only be a few more chapters. Ugh, how good will that feel, anyway?

So is anybody else excited for nano this year?!