Thursday, January 8, 2009


“Why?” is a great question, whether you are living or writing. When we are living, “why” means “Why am I here? Why did I eat that? Why is that creepy guy starting at me?” “Why” is very existential. “Why” means something is happening to us. We don’t have to take responsibility for it. “Why” is the outside affecting us.

You know, when we’re living.

In writing, “why” is something totally different. “Why” is “Why did I just do that to my character? Why is my muse leaving me? Why am I procrastinating?”

Ah, procrastinating. Good job, Hildred. You may have noticed that it’s been over two months since I last wrote here. Because I’ve been procrastinating. That’s because I had homework out my wazzoo. Now time is all mine…but I still don’t want to write. Of course I want to write. It’s my passion. It’s how I work though my own problems, how I make sense of the world. But you know what, “why” in writing is your own fault. If something doesn’t get done, it’s because you didn’t do it. Or because your brain is whacking out. Or because you really are channeling some weird universe eons away and their history is being written while you channel.

Point being, I can’t cry about my novel(s) not getting done if I’m not…doing anything. “Why” is answered with “me”. Of course, if I’m dying in the hospital, I can’t be too sad about it. But what am I going to do come 12/12/12, when the world is ending and I haven’t even finished the final draft of my first novel? =( Oh, sad, sad day.

So what does this all mean? I suppose I’m nipping myself in the bud. Starting tonight I am shooting for 1600 words (Nano style, baby) in CROSS// and…well, how about a page in Nagnomei, since that one requires more thought since I have to sound t3h smartz.

Why? Because I have to do it and get it done. =)

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