Friday, February 10, 2012

"I'm Hearing Voices" Blogfest Day 3: Emotion Flash Fiction

It's day three of the Blogfest hosted over at Live to Write...Edit When Necessary and Reading, Writing, and Lovin' It! Today's challenge is:

Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character. This will be a challenge in 250 words.

  Had to think good and hard about what to write for this one. Eventually I got an idea from a comment Emily R. King left me in Wednesday's entry and decided to bring both Day 1 and 2 together in a preview snippet from the current WIP, CROSS//Revenge, which is book 2 in the CROSS// Pentalogy. (Book one is finished and sitting before I attempt final revisions again. I'm currently writing the rough draft of book two.) While this scenario will occur, I'm not quite that far yet so I'm not sure if it's going to happen as I've written below. But oh well!

...no screenshots for you today!


               While her charge continued to sleep in affliction behind her, Miranda maintained her vigil just yards away, her body poised for meditation.
               She opened her eyes, her head pointed low. Just over her shoulder she could see Danielle laid on the floor, hands clasped and face twitching in the throes of her nightmares.
               “What are you dreaming about?” Miranda wondered. She pulled out a cigarette from her back pocket and lit it with alacrity. “Are you dreaming about me?”
               Smoke wafted through the air as Danielle muttered an incoherent reply in her sleep. Miranda frowned. She stuck the cigarette back in her mouth and stood in silence.
               Her mind exploded.
               Fuck you, Danielle. Miranda exhaled. After everything I’ve done. After all the sacrifices. After all the blood? Another draft. The things I’ve done. The contacts I’ve made. The people I’ve fucked, all for you. Smoke. The deals I’ve made. Her cell phone rang with Yumiko’s tune. The horrors I’ve endured.
               Miranda counted each breath Danielle took.
               And you don’t even care to remember me.
               The tune died down as Yumiko gave up contact somewhere on the other side of the world. Miranda dropped the finished cigarette and smashed it with her boot, the ashes smoldering on the stone next to Danielle’s cheek.
               Miranda turned. She faced the circle of men and women donned in their black hoods and chanting their prayers. She pulled out her pistol and leveled it at the nearest julah, a woman.
               “Well,” Miranda said, “I’m ready.”

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Didn't get a chance to edit as much as I like since I think I'm coming down with a cold just in time for the weekend here, so I'm posting it "as is". Oh well. Enjoy! This blog fest was a lot of fun. Looking forward to more great ones in the future.Thanks to everyone who's stopped by to read my humble stuff this week! You have no idea how much pride and enthusiasm all of your comments have given me!

EDIT: Oh ahahaha I must really be sick indeed now. I totally forgot to say something that I had intended all day.

I'm not sure what "emotion" to classify this. It's like a cross (lol get it) between "resolution", "frustration", and "determination". Any word to sum that all up? Haha. Let me know what emotion this evokes for you!

18 comments:

  1. Whoa. This is AWESOME. Such fire in Miranda. Very well done.

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    1. Thanks! You could say she literally has some fire in her with all the smoking I write into her now. ;)

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  2. I'm hooked! I want to know what happens next.

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    1. I'm still in the process of figuring that out :P

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  3. I can totally see the frustration. And I'm with Emily. I want to know more. Well done :)

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  4. DUDE!!! I'm totally freaked out by guns for one, but this whole piece has some great voice in it, I was totally there with your character. :)

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    1. I seem to write in a lot more guns than I ever intend, but I guess that's normal when you're writing military personnel, eh? Thanks for the comment!

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  5. Wow that was intense!! I could totally feel what Miranda was going through. Great job!!!

    I'm following along :)

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    1. Thanks, for the comment and the follow!

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  6. Anger. Hurt. And a determined twist that ties it all together. Very intense.

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    1. Anger and hurt definitely fall in there and sums her up quite nicely. Thanks!

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  7. I sensed a definite frustration/hurt here. Especially when she said, "And you don’t even care to remember me." Great job, Hildred! And I agree with the others that this was very intense and full of voice. :)

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  8. Wow your writing is amazing ;) I was frustrated while reading so good job :) I found your blog from the bloghop :)

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  9. Very interesting! I wonder what the scenario is here.

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    1. Thank you! And i'm still working that out myself ;)

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