Thursday, March 8, 2012

Friday Flash: The Fortieth Time

What do I do with this tho.
(What? It's Friday here!)

This is my entry for the Second Campaigner Challenge, which is kind of the King of Clusterfulandia. Basically, a 200 (oh excuse me, LESS! So I shot for a nice 199) word flash fiction based on five different prompts. Oh Lord. (I'm not listing all the requirements here. If you're interested, click on the link!)

That said, here is my entry. Writing in my same genre, not sorry. Then again I write just about every genre except YA Paranormal Romance (why I will never be able to support myself writing, apparently) so I suppose it doesn't even matter =P

As usual, this story takes place in the CROSS// universe. But you've never heard these names before.

No ~dirty language~ this week, but there is gun violence. (Also, I'm entry #80.)

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Once children ran and played with each other on that bridge. But not today.

Not ever again.

Karra’s body slumped forward from the support beam and landed in the mud, her leg too broken to support her. Ireya sobbed beside her and readied a pistol for the inevitable.

The world crumbled around them. Ireya brushed the wet hair out of her face and gazed down at Karra’s vacant eyes and trembling breath.

Ireya stood; the pistol cocked. Looking down the barrel and towards Karra’s muddy blond hair made Ireya choke on her courage, but so long as Karra “lived” there was no room for hesitancy in Ireya’s failing heart.

“I always love you.” Her lips quivered, but the finger on the trigger held in resolution.

With one shot Karra no longer felt pain.

Ireya had one final choice:  join Karra of her own volition, or let the collapsing planet claim her.

A shot.

Ireya’s body fell with a thud in the rain. Blood spilled from her body and joined Karra’s, together at last, as they died for the fortieth time.

The rain fell upwards as two butterflies departed for the cosmic Void.

The world ended.

For the fortieth time.

18 comments:

  1. Holy crap... wow...

    Er... wow...

    That was really great! In a dark/awful way! I *really* like your writing. Love the tight sentences and the way you separate them add to the impact. "liked" Nice work ;)

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    1. Thank you! I'm editing one of my WIP at the moment and I'm all about tightening up sentences right now, so that's a bulk of where that came from =P (And also you know, 200 words and a story to tell. Dang.)

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  2. Oh, that's a twist! I wonder how many times they get? (#30)

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    1. WIP says they're currently on try #98 (darn eh)

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  3. So interesting! This pulled me in. Well done.

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  4. Congratulations! You have been shortlisted to move onto stage two.

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  5. Really, this is awesome. So much setting in so little world, and drama and love too! Totally voting for you.

    #38

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    1. Thank you! That was the biggest challenge, compacting all of that setting and drama (with the prompts to boot) into 199 words. omg.

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  6. Congratulations on getting to the next round!

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  7. I like this. At first I thought, this is dark, but then I realized that they're not really dead. For them this is just another fight, but man, do their fights get heated. It makes me curious to know more about their other lives.

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    1. Thank you. One of the things I shoot for in my writing is dumping a bunch of darkness on people but always putting in that little sliver of "I can deal with this because this". Kinda like life in a nutshell. :)

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  8. What a way to die, becoming a butterfly?? That's really different! Nice story!

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    1. In this case the butterfly is simply the state of the soul between destinations. :) Thanks for the comment!

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  9. The ending was really unexpected after such a gritty beginning - I lovee the idea of hope in the middle of so much horror. Nicely done!

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    1. Thanks! That's what I do, otherwise all the horror would just lead to everyone permanently dead, ha.

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