Here are the details:
- Interview a heroine of your manuscript, novel, or WIP by a fellow female counterpart also from your written work. Your featured heroine can be interviewed by her best friend, a heroine from another one of your written works, a sister, the opportunities are endless!
- Have your heroine answer at least 3 of the questions recommended below or make up your own!
- Post a picture of your heroine, the interviewer, or both!
- Post a song for the theme of the interview or a song that reflects your featured heroine's personality
Well, I ended up writing a 2k short story. Oops? Heh heh. It works though. I had a lot of fun writing it in about 2 hours about...an hour ago. I've only edited it once since then so sorry for any typos.
Today's story features, of course, Danielle Cromwell and Miranda Hotler of CROSS// fame. You've seen them interacting before.
Of course, the usual warnings: Swearing, naughty talk, and the usual crap that falls out of their mouths. And alcohol, apparently.
And here's your obligatory picture. I went hunting through my Sims 3 screenshots folder and found this random one of them hanging out in a club at the bar. The clothes are wrong, the scenery is wrong, but hey, the intent is the same and I don't have to go taking new screenshots! Also, just like in the story, there's a Devon cameo.
"The bartender" may or may not have weaseled her way into the story. Also, I have no idea why Devon is fuming at Danielle. |
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The bar
door slammed open to admit Danielle in all her embittered glory while she whipped
off her jacket with a snarl. A few other bar patrons glanced up and noted her
furrowed brows and decided it best to ignore the stomping monster en route to
the bar.
“Bad
day?”
Danielle
slumped onto a stool and flung her jacket onto the bar. Beside her sat Miranda,
legs crossed and fingers flipping through a fashion magazine. Danielle wanted
to vomit at the stench of her musky perfume – her senses were heightened to the
point she thought she could also smell Miranda’s dark eye shadow. Crushed up
Crayons, maybe? Or maybe that’s just how it looked on her.
“Bad
day.”
“Aw,
what happened?” Miranda lowered her magazine and pursed her lips in Danielle’s
direction. “Childhood get ruined by the Internet?”
“No.”
Danielle saw the bartender, a young woman with her hair high in a ponytail and
a dress made for dancing in, come over and nod her head at her. “Highball. On
lots of rocks.”
The
bartender chuckled and wandered off to get Danielle her coveted whiskey. Miranda
averted her eyes from the bartender’s bouncing locks to Danielle’s limp blond
hair. “Going straight for the hard stuff, I see.”
“Yeah,
so? I ain’t driving tonight. What’s that there, a martini?”
Miranda
checked her empty martini glass, the green olive left for better individuals
who could enjoy them. “My, you’re astute today. What’s wrong with you?”
Danielle
laid her head on the counter and stared sideways at Miranda around the corner.
From that angle she could see Miranda’s manicured nails scratch against the
glossy magazine cover of a starlet promising to make men’s genitals harder. “You
ever just had a bad day? I am having a bad day. By the way, it’s a bad day.”
Danielle watched Miranda roll her eyes and then continue perusing her magazine.
“Why are you reading that trash? Since when do you care about getting dicks
off?”
Miranda
flipped the magazine closed over her thumb and peered at the cover – she chuckled
at the outlandish promises nobody in that bar probably cared about. “It amuses
me. The shit in here is so ridiculous. And the quizzes are fun, because I love
knowing how I really feel about my man.”
The
bartender returned, dropping a napkin before placing Danielle’s drink on top of
it. Danielle gave guttural thanks and hocked back a drink large enough to burn
both her trachea and stomach. She placed the glass onto the counter and considered
the bubbles in her drink. “And how do you really feel about your man?”
“Well
let’s see, there’s this quiz in here. Want to do it?” Miranda’s smile was
priceless in its goading.
Danielle
shrunk further into her seat. “Just a second.” She slammed back another drink
and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Okay, hit me.”
“Okay
then.” Giving an imbibing Danielle a sex quiz about men should be worth the
vomiting and hangovers Miranda would have to see later. “Question One: boxers or briefs?”
“Boxers.
Soooo much more comfortable. Especially flannel ones in the winter when I can’t
find my sweats and…”
“They
mean on men, Danielle.”
“Oh. Why
the hell do I care? I ain’t lookin’. Gross. Next.”
“Uh huh.
Are you sure you want to do this? Or should I just let you get drunk?”
“I ain’t
drunk. Yet.”
“That…that
was what I was getting at.” Miranda sighed and looked at the magazine again. “Alright,
well, next is…’How would you describe your hero?’ Oh, that’s fun.”
Danielle
reached out and took Miranda’s empty martini glass and brought it over to her
lolling head. She picked out the olive and stared through its eye as if it were
a kaleidoscope. “A hero? I need a hero? I could be your hero? It’s raining
heroes?”
The
bartender appeared again and bent down to see what Miranda read. “Oh my God, is
that the quiz about what you like about men or some shit? My girlfriend totally
made me do that one just to haze me the other day. I told her I like my heroes
to have long hair and wield golden lassos.” She took the martini glass and
slunk away again.
“Was she
talking about Wonder Woman?”
“Yes,
Danielle. Do you want your hero to be Wonder Woman?”
“Yessssss.
I want her to tie me up and make me tell the truth.”
“Fine.
Next question is, ‘What’s your biggest dating horror story?’ And it better not
include me.”
Danielle
stared at the spot where the martini glass once was and blinked water back into
her eyes. “Oh, that’s easy.” She sat up straight and looked at Miranda as if
she were as clear-headed as the day of a big test. “It was here in this bar,
actually. Yeah, some girl named Amy. We were gonna go back to my place to hump
like monkeys when I went into the bathroom and saw blood all over the place. It
was great. Guess what I didn’t get to do that night.”
“When
you say ‘blood all over the place’…”
“I mean
my period, genius.”
“Of
course you do. Have another drink, Danielle.”
Complying,
Danielle picked up her highball and slurped another drink down. “What’s next?
What’s my favorite penile position? Because…dicks…”
“You
have such an elegant way with words.” Miranda turned the page and giggled. “’What
turns you off from a guy the most?’” she asked with a smile.
“Penis.
Semen. Semen makes babies.” Danielle drank again, her limbs growing numb and
her brain far from lucid. “Babies bad. Babies tear your taint, and your wallet.”
“Lovely!”
Miranda signaled the bartender for another martini. “I think they meant
personality wise. Or something physical, beyond the penis. They aren’t thinking
of child-hating dykes when they make these things.”
“Oh,
fine. I don’t like…” Danielle paused, distracted by her fascinating fingers. “Huh?
I don’t like…oh my God, did I ever tell you about Seth? The guy who I once
tried to do but bailed because we didn’t have condoms and he was too
chicken-shit to walk across the street with me to buy some? I hate that guy.
Yeah, I hate that.”
“Careful,
the other dykes might hear you talking about you and penis.”
“It was
a long time ago!” Danielle flung her arms up in the air and looked over her
shoulder at the other women in the bar. Most were either in couples or small
groups, chatting about their lives while pushing back tamer stuff than what
Danielle had. Yeah, they didn’t care. Danielle would bet half of them were bisexual
like her anyway. “Come on, give me another one. This is getting fun.” She saw
her half-drunk highball. “Or I’m getting drunker. Either way.”
Miranda
peered at her over the magazine just as the bartender brought her a new
margarita. She clamped her hand over the top before Danielle could dive in an
attempt to steal the olive. The previous one still rolled around on the counter
from where Danielle dropped it earlier. “Okay, ‘What is the best date you’ve ever had?’ Do tell me
more about your period, while you’re at it.”
“Any
date I get laid.” Danielle then remembered the last part. “Oh, and no blood.
Since you asked.”
“Wonderful.
Well, at least you seem easy enough to please.” Miranda sipped her margarita and
then read, “’Kiss on the first date?’”
“Sweetie,
I will fuck your brains out on the first date.”
“With men?”
“Oh.
Maybe. Does he have a condom? Am I on my period?” Danielle opened her arms and
looked towards the shadowy ceiling.
Miranda
gaped at her before saying, “I don’t think you need condoms for a kiss,
Danielle.”
“Then
you don’t know how I kiss!” Danielle slammed her fist onto the counter. “I kiss
good.”
“Do you
even know what you’re talking about anymore?”
“Not
really.” Danielle finished off her highball in one swallow. She burped, folded
her arms on the counter, and shoved her head into her own embrace. “Go on. Tell
me more about how much I love me some dick. While you’re at it turn to page
thirty-two and tell me how to give great head.” She poked an eye above her arm
and stared at Miranda. “You would
know about that, I hear.”
Miranda
did not entertain her beyond what the next question said. “’What gets you a
second date?’”
“Your
beautiful face.”
“Ah, how
sweet! Are you drunk?”
Danielle
admittedly could not see two inches past her own nose. How could she know if
Miranda’s face was beautiful? It could have changed in the past two minutes. “Yes.
It’s wonderful. Bad day is going away.”
“You’re
so sweet when you’re drunk. That tells me a lot about you, so you should tell
me ‘What one thing tells you a lot about a person’.”
“Their
reaction to me saying ‘Roe vs. Wade’.”
“I like
it. Political with sexual implications.”
“Nothing
we women do is not political.” Danielle coughed into her arm, unaware of the approaching
bartender.
“Do you
want another?”
When
Danielle didn’t answer, Miranda shook her head on her behalf. The bartender
took the highball glass before Danielle could try to eat it. “Okay, Danielle,
before you die there’s one more question. Do you want to hear it? Danielle?”
Danielle
banged her head against the counter; clearly, a nod.
“’What
do you find most attractive in a man?’”
“Vaginas!”
The
chatter around them grew quiet – Danielle’s vibrant shout continued to echo
within the bar wall. The bartender stifled a giggle and the nearest pair of
dating dykes pointed before busting out laughing. “Fuck yeah, vaginas!” a woman
called from the gallery.
“I love
vaginas!”
“Me too!”
“Baby, I
love your vagina.”
“Oh,
yay!”
While
the lesbian love fest got underway in the peanut gallery, Miranda nudged
Danielle’s arm and then pricked a finger through her unresponsive short hair.
When she didn’t respond, Miranda leaned back and, with a sigh the size of the
room, closed her fashion magazine and shrugged at the bartender. Danielle began
to snore.
A few
minutes later the bar door opened, and an awkward hush fell over the room.
Miranda craned her neck around to see a short dark figure wade its way through
the throng of women all looking at it suspiciously. She held up her hand so the
figure could see her.
When
Devon reached the counter he yanked Danielle’s head back and clicked his tongue
against the back of his throat. “Drunk? Or dead?”
“Drunk.
Highball in less than ten minutes. Do you expect less?” Miranda crossed her
arms and shook her head at the lingering bartender. “We were discussing the
finer points of boxers, periods, and vaginas.”
“Yeah,
well, she’s out. When she left us earlier she had already had like five beers
so I’m not surprised.” Devon tugged Danielle’s body out of the stool and lifted
her into his arms. “I’ll take her home.” He turned and saw the dozens of eyes
staring at him with contempt. “Um…”
“You’re
in a lesbian bar, by the way.”
“Of
course I am. Of. Course. I. Am.” Devon shifted Danielle’s weight until he knew
he could carry her out of the bar without hitting her head against a chair, a
table, or a lesbian. “Night.”
Miranda
leaned her head against her hand and watched him maneuver Danielle through the
crowd and out the door held by a woman looking at him as if he were a caveman.
It made Miranda smile.
“Who was
that?” the bartender asked.
“Some
guy she knows. He’s harmless.”
“You
just gonna let him make off with your drunk woman like that?”
Miranda
laughed. “My woman? What makes you
think that?”
“Well,
just the way you two were…I mean…” The bartender blushed. “Never mind. Vaginas.”
Miranda
lifted her martini glass up. “Vaginas!”
“Vaginas!”
came another chorus.
“Yeah,
sorry.” The bartender stepped away.
After
another second Miranda lowered her arm and asked, “Is it that obvious?”
“What?
That you’re in love with her? Just a little.”
Watching
the bartender walk away, Miranda fingered the glossy cover of the magazine and sniffed
at her margarita. She looked at the magazine and read the headline, “Let’s talk
about men!” through narrowed eyes. She finished off her margarita and tossed
the magazine into the nearest trashcan.
---
Yay! For your listening pleasure, here's the fierce and flawless Kumi Koda telling us about dem menz in the clubz. I think it's fairly obvious when you watch it while it's included here as the soundtrack piece.
I love a Danielle! I'm bias. Wow, you did this in 2 hrs. Amazing. That was a lot of Vaginas!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason this whole trail of thought is just making me laugh. XD
DeleteThanks!
Great idea for a blog hop! I love how spunky your characters are.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteClever way of incorporating the interview, Hildred! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed you wrote all that in just 2 hours!
ReplyDeleteHey, when you're in the zone, you're in the zone~
DeleteThis is the type of thing you read when you need a laugh:)
ReplyDeleteI was channeling certain Mid-Western states when I wrote this, obviously =P
ReplyDeleteGlad to see I'm not the only one who ended up with so many words. ^_^
ReplyDeleteWonderful interview.
Hah! You're girls are fun and I LOVE your song!!!
ReplyDelete