Celebrating One Year With The Dream Job: A Reflection (And Such)

Today marks the one year publishing anniversary of "DAISUKI." my first ever published work. One year ago today I was nothing but a fledgling publisher, who had no idea what to expect or what would happen a few months from then. I was confident in my writing abilities, but nervous about how they would be received - after all, it isn't every day that someone goes out determined to write a series about polyamorous lesbians.

The support I had from friends and family was what was able to get me off the ground. I will always be grateful for the support many of you showed me then, and since then. Thanks to your efforts, my stories were able to get in front of many strangers. Some off them were not my target audience, but many of them were. Many of them took a chance on me. Some of you reading this right now are some of those strangers who decided to take a chance on my unconventional romances. Many of you have contacted me over this past year and have expressed many wonderful sentiments that have helped me keep going in this little venture of mine.

Since I was a little kid I've always known that I wanted to be a writer. Back in those days, my only chance was scoring a lucrative deal with a trade publisher - since we pretty much all know that actually making a living writing for a trade publisher is a lot harder than the public thinks. But as I was growing up, I met a lot of roadblocks. Namely, people in authority telling me that I needed to "think realistically." This of course meant going to college to get a super expensive degree in something that had nothing to do with writing. And as it turned out, had nothing to do with my life in general other than putting me into crazy debt. But this post isn't about university mistakes and coulda woulda shoulda. It's about what actually happened that was pretty amazing.

The five REN'AI RENSAI novels I published this past year.

Most of you (who have asked over the months) know that I don't give out hard numbers. Many authors do, but I'm not comfortable with that. What I will say about my sales and earnings this past year is this: I am very happy. I am paying my bills that threatened to bankrupt me just a year ago. I am not quite where I want to be yet, but I am okay with that. The tradeoff, especially in this economy, is that I get to do my dream job every day of my life - which doesn't feel like a job, because I would be doing this anyway! - and still get by, with a little room to spare. I'm still learning a lot about running my own business, especially on the tax side, but it will all fall into place with more experience... eventually.

Over a year ago I took a chance on a fantasy.  Now it's a reality.

It was quite the coincidence that I would technically start a new series just a day before Daisuki's one year anniversary. But really, it's a pretty poetic coincidence, especially since the titles are a bit similar in the Roman alphabet. One year ago I would have never guessed this would be the state of my career. It both amazes me and makes me extremely proud of the work I have put out.

This is far from the end. It's barely the beginning. This is only the first year in what I hope will be many, many years of me writing and publishing. This time next year I hope to be in the serious publishing stages of my first fantasy novel (which yes, will include many sexy lesbians... just now with more galactic-ness~) and can't wait to share it with you.

Thank you again for helping to make this past year possible!

Write 'Em And Forget 'Em: Or, I Almost Never Re-Read My Works

I know I am not alone in this, and yet, it feels weird to talk about. As a published author I am very proud of my achievements and what I've managed to accomplish in over three months - but I have a confession. The moment I hit "Publish" on a work, I will probably never read through it again.

Why?

Heck I don't know. Call it fear.

When I flip through my book downloaded from Amazon to make sure it published in the correct format, or flip through my paperback just to say I can, I almost never let me eyes linger on the words, let alone read them. There's a lot of rationalization for this, but it mostly boils down to I don't want to make any more changes. 

From the time I hit "THE END" on a work, I will read through its entirety about ten times before it's published. This doesn't count all the smaller bits I'll read on their own, or the re-reading I do during the course of writing the first draft. (Yes, I edit as I go. GASP.) I'm also very particular about editing. Even my novelettes I've been publishing in the past month get a lot chopped from them....I believe about one-thousand words is the norm, and that's BEFORE they're sent to outside editing. Up until the last minute before I publish, I will chop off prepositional phrases, flip through a thesaurus because that word is "still not quite right", and flip back and forth between using a name or a pronoun in certain sentences. I know I'm done editing and ready to publish when, not only do I have editor and beta go-ahead, but my editing is no longer moving forward, but sideways. Thus when I flip through a story after it's been published, bought by dozens+ of people, reviewed, shared, etc, I just don't want to face the fact that maybe there's something left to change. 

As artists, we are rarely satisfied with our work. And sometimes we're afraid of what we may see.

I know most of my faults as a writer. I've been seriously writing for about 15 years now. The first novella I published was not the first book I ever wrote...certainly not even in the top 10. Maybe the top 20 of completed novels. I've done my dances of "OH EW I WROTE -THAT?-" over the years So when I re-read, it's not all about cringing and wondering how anyone in the world could possibly give it five stars...but it is a part of it. And as publishers, we're taught that once it's out in the world, it's out. Short of glaring typos and a few minor things (that may add up to big things) on a technical level, I'm a believer that once it's out, it's OUT. No more changes, no more humming, just publish it and work on the next one. Which makes it kind of awkward when I think there's a scene I might want to refresh myself on because it relates to one I am writing.

What about you, other writers? Do you ever go back and re-read your works? Does it make you cringe,even if you wrote it two months ago?

Weekly Writing Check-In: Busy, Busy, Busy

To give you an idea of how busy I've been lately, let's just say I totally forgot to do last week's check-in. Oops! (Who was supposed to hold me accountable again?)

I'm not sure where I should begin in listing what I've been doing and what my goals are...aside from saying, "Writing, Editing, Formatting, and Publishing.." My REN'AI RENSAI series is in full swing starting last month. I'm currently up two one novella (DAISUKI), one novel (HATSUKOI), and one novelette (MITSUSHIN). I've got a shot story coming out this week that I just got the edits back on and the cover made for, and there will be YET ANOTHER novelette next week. Phew! January will for sure see another novel (officially Book 3 of the series) and possibly another novelette a couple weeks before that. Like I said, BUSY!

I've been so busy writing, editing, blah blah blah that I've completely forgotten that Xmas is coming in a week. I don't have a single present for anyone (nor the money for it) nor can I say that I even care about Xmas. Know what I'll be doing on Xmas? Working. As usual.

I tell myself that this is all worth it, that I'll be paying the bills with this soon enough. And honestly, the money I've made so far is nothing to sneeze at. But in this publishing climate (hell, in this ECONOMICAL climate) nothing is certain and I may be doing this all for naught. Wouldn't that be just like my life? Yes, it would be. Hopefully my life will forget to do that little breakdown thing before it's too late, however.

WHELP. I must be getting back to these edits. I have a sweet lesbian romance to bring you all this week. BBL!

Weekly Writing Check-In: One Month Check-In for "DAISUKI."

Hard to believe that one month ago today I released "DAISUKI." unto the world. Since then I've experienced a month of ups and down, growing pains and learning curves. I wish I could tell you that I became a big money-maker overnight, but, ALAS, I have not. But I have no  complaints so far. I am selling more, it seems, than most newbies with only one book out, and I am optimistic that once I get more books out there starting next month everything will work out!

I also wish I could share sales figures with you, but I don't think I'm allowed to from various TOS. But I CAN break down my sales percentages based on sales venues! Currently I have DAISUKI available on Amazon, B&N, Kobo (only took three weeks UGH), All Romance, and Smashwords (inc. expanded distribution to Sony and iTunes.) As of right now at this moment, here's how it's breaking down:

Amazon - 80%
Barnes & Noble - 10%
Smashwords - 10%
All Romance + Kobo - Try again, loser.

My percentages seem to mirror most of my research:  Amazon is a majority of the pie, and B&N comes up second with all the others vying for third. I'm rather disappointed in ARe since most other erotic romance authors told me they did very well there, but I have a feeling my niche (lesbianism. Yeah, it's a niche.) is the main factor here. On a site inundated with MAN PECKS MAN PECKS MAN PECKS you get the idea....

I suppose I should share what's coming up this we - OMG Nanowrimo. Ha. I've decided to go ahead and do the CROSS// universe grab bag. Finishing up book 3 of RR and then writing two shorts for it should push me over 50k. And if not, there's always book 4 to start. BUSY BUSY~

Also, be sure to be here for BOOK 2 TITLE/COVER/BLURB REVEAL ON THURSDAY! It's gonna be hot!

Kindle Direct Publishing Breaks Into Japanese Market

Upon logging onto the Internetz today I have discovered that Kindle Direct Publishing now offers their Kindle Store via Amazon Japan! Of course, KDP's expanding markets are nothing new, especially recently, but I have a very special interest in the Japanese market, so this is really exciting news to me!

Some people are already selling their self-published ebooks in Japan as I'm writing  this, but I think it'll be interesting how it plays out for most people. Most people are probably selling works in English only, which can work throughout greater Europe, but not too much in Japan, which is one of the lowest ranking first-world Asian countries when it comes to learning English. (And I've worked in English teaching in Japan. I totally believe this position. Although I am surprised Hong Kong and Taiwan aren't higher.) Also, sorry guys, but Kindle is not a "thing" in Japan. In terms of the E-reading market, Kobo (shock!), Sony (another shock!), and even iPads (Japan loves their iPads and iPhones, although the laptops and desktops never seem to have taken off) seem to dominate the E-reader market. (Anecdote time: I remember when I first took my Fire back to Japan and attempted to find a cover for it in the giant, I mean GIANT electronics and accessories stores in Nagoya. I was finally told by multiple workers that Kindle gear isn't carried at this time.) In the beginning, I think we'll see most sales are coming from expats and maybe a small section of the Japanese themselves. But who knows! With the recent launch, it could go any way, really.

Now, for my personal excitement:  Japan is a market I would very much like to corner, and uh, not just because I happen to write stories taking place in Japan and featuring Japanese characters at the moment. (Although that is a good reason.) I have a few social connections in Japan that  could be quite beneficial to me, and have had emails from people asking me if they could buy my ebooks on Amazon Japan. Now  I can finally say I do! Hooray!

I suppose I should be off to translate my author profile and book description in Japanese. Just because I can. (Btw, here's my current book on Amazon Japan! Because it looks cool there!)

Breakthrough! / Branding

This update comes in two sections: The breakthrough, and the branding.

FIRST! The breakthrough! Tuesday I talked a little about my recent "series" naming escapades. I was worried I wouldn't come up with anything. Or that anything I came up with was thoughtless, meaningless, and there just for the sake of being there. While this mini-series in the realm of lesbian romance (in Japan, no less) is set in the same universe as the overarching CROSS// series I'm working on, it features minor characters who are, for the most part, ignorant to the fantasy of the universe. They're just everyday people leading everyday lives. Thus I was stuck on what to name the "mini-series" within the series. On one hand it's meant to exist on its own, but it's also tied to the main universe. I don't want to haphazardly slap the "CROSS//" label on it other than as an aside, so I needed to come up with something else.

Tonight, I was plowing through my online dictionary and came upon a couple words I never even considered before. I knew I wanted something "Japanese" to reflect the story titles, but in this case I didn't care if it was complicated Japanese so long as it was still catchy to readers who didn't know any Japanese outside of "Tokyo" and "Honda". (Sometimes I lose touch, considering I've been studying the language for over ten years now.) And what do you know. The words I found? Perfect! I'm still stewing them over and a couple alternates for now until I make any for-sure announcements on the new mini-series name. So look forward to it! (And learning some Japanese, apparently.)

SECOND! I've been spending some time lately considering the concept of "branding", specifically, my name as an author. It's always been my intention to go by my birth name, which I do here, because I love my name and I've always felt it was unique enough while still retaining a certain "authoryness". And I do intend to write under both my main planned series (CROSS// and, later on in the next decade, Nagnomei) with my name "Hildred Billings". But then one of my friends pointed out that my planned debut at this point is rather, erm ~controversial~. (Gasp! Two lesbians in a long-term relationship?! And they have sex?! GOOD LORD. Buy me a new string of pearls because I've over-clutched the ones I have now!) And as somebody currently trying to find even a part time job to make loan bills add up, I may be shooting myself in the foot should potential employers google me and see my steamy cover I plan on releasing next month. This did give me pause. Now, obviously I don't give a rat's toot if an author uses a pen name for these reasons, even to keep their genres separate, but it's never been something I've considered. I hate aliases (for myself). Even my long-standing Internet name "Calico" doesn't get considered when it comes to my writing career! 

But then I realized - darnit, it doesn't matter. Since this  series takes place in the same universe as CROSS// (and features some of the same characters!) I can't exactly use a different name if only to save myself the headache of people saying "hey wait a minute...is this fanfiction? Does Hildred know about this?!" Could you just imagine? And then there's the other thing...I've been building up a name for "Hildred Billings" for the past few years. And I don't care if  family members see what "Hildred Billings" has been up to. Most of them know I'm queer as sin (even if some may be in denial) and I'm not exactly in the closet anywhere in the world. The worst  that can happen is a potential employer looks me up and says "what.", but since I don't plan on a career with children, I'm going to go with "I'm not working for anybody who has a problem with who I am anyway."

Phew. Well, those are all the thoughts swarming around my head these past couple of days. No pen name over here. The only reason why I ever would use one is if it was a safety measure, which I don't count a lesbian romance as in my neck of the woods, as backwards as I sometimes think this place is. And I may have a series name! Goodness.

How about y'all? Do you use a pen name? Why or why not?

Of Cover Images and Series Titles

Man I hate it when this happens.

For the past few weeks I've been trollin' around stock photo sites trying to pick a cover image for my upcoming novella release. (Eee! It's getting closer! CLOSER! Soon I'll be doing reveals!) It's been tough. At first I thought I found the perfect image somewhere. The models, with some hair color tweakin', more or less looked exactly like my MCs! Yay! But there were some...erm...~issuess~ with covering certain body parts up so Amazon and other retailers would not throw a fit over it. Then there was the other issue: "Oh, God, how am I going to find matching images for the sequels?" There was a whole shoot with these same models, but they were either butt-ass naked (which is actually what I DON'T want. Yeah, I had to take my temperature too!) or at an unworkable angle for a book cover. Finally, after seeing my graphic designer/editor-at-large/best-friend-forever came up with via a prototype...no, this original image HAS to happen! It just has to! And it will happen! As soon as I buy the rights! :P

Phew. Yes, that's been one of my biggest points of stress recently. The other is trying to come up with a series name to list on Amazon and other retailers so they'll show up nicely on search results. I have at least two more similar stories featuring the same characters planned (one of which I am in the midst of writing now) and have never considered naming them as a series until now. It wouldn't be something special or even "official", really. But at this rate it'll probably get named after a very specific flower.

Bah. Rambling! I'm sure most of you other writers know how it is. So tell me, especially you self-publishers, how did you go about picking the "perfect" cover image? And those who went trade, how did you find the cover making process? Did you get to have a lot of input let alone the final ok?

SAS: 3 Great Hangouts for Independent Writers, by Michael Abayomi

 "Share A Saturday" is a weekly chance for you, yes YOU, to come on my blog and talk about whatever you want, so long as it's related to writing/books. For more information, such as if you'd like to "share a Saturday" with me, please see below!

Michael Abayomi was born in Lagos, Nigeria. He fell in love with the art of storytelling after reading J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. He currently works as a freelance website developer and shares a passion for books, computers, movies, music, video games and women.

Blog: www.michaelabayomi.com

  

Are you a fledging independent writer with a recently published book? Or maybe you’re still sitting on the fence regarding self-publishing? Or perhaps you already have a number of self-published books under your belt, but still feel like a new kid on the block? If either of these cases happen to be true, chances are you’ve been trying to learn as much as you can about self-publishing. Or at least you’ve been trying to connect with fellow independent writers through the various social media outlets (Facebook, Twitter, Blogger etc)

The ebook market is constantly evolving, and there is a need to keep informed about those changes. In the seven or so months since I first self-published, I’ve managed to stay in the loop by frequenting the following three websites:

A Newbies Guide to Publishing

http://jakonrath.blogspot.com

Truth be told, I’d been following J. A. Konrath’s blog months before I took the self-publishing route. Back then, I was still contemplating whether or not to query agents about my book series, Guardians & The Lost Paradise, which was only half-written at the time. I quickly discovered the wealth of information amassed there, which covers everything from how to go about promoting a book to his views on the ongoing ebook revolution (and what it means for writers). Thankfully, most of this information has also been collected into an ebook of the same name.

Let’s Get Digital

http://davidgaughran.wordpress.com

Let’s Get Digital is a professional blog for independent writers. It was created by Irish writer, David Gaughran, one of my many online friends. I met David in an online forum (can’t remember which one) and I had subsequently found out about his books and blog. Even though the blog is just one year old now, there is still a wealth of information to be discovered there. He’s also collected most of that information into an ebook of the same name.

Kindleboards Writers’ Café

http://www.kindleboards.com/index.php?board=60

Of the three websites I have chosen for this post, the Kindleboards Writers’ Café happens to be the one I frequent the most. It is a forum where indies can talk about all things Amazon (and way more). The sense of community there is overwhelming sometimes, and it is quite common for the same newbie questions to get answered over and over again. I’m more of a lurker myself, preferring to learn by reading through the ongoing discussions (rather than raise new questions). Some of the members are also quite eccentric. This is why just reading through the replies on some of the more popular threads is enough to brighten an otherwise sour day.

What about you? What other forums, blogs or Facebook groups do you follow or frequent as an independent writer?

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If you'd like to participate in a Share a Saturday, feel free to contact me at my email, hildred @ gmail.com (no spaces) or through any of the other ways to get a hold of me through my Contact page.

A Life in Which Writing Is Never a Priority

A day or so ago The Golden Eagle made a post in which she asked, "Would you write if you knew you'd never be published?" Of course I thought about it and subsequently replied, but my reply made me think a lot about the role of writing in my life...especially now.

My reply was basically "Yes, but not as much." More complicated than that, as I will get into further here soon. As most of you know now, I'm recently unemployed (by choice) and living with my parents again (by choice...well, er, kinda. I have money but no income so I don't feel like wasting my savings, you know? Especially when I still have loans.) I live in a dinky little town in super rural Oregon where jobs are non-existent, and I don't drive let alone have a car. This means I've got a lot of free time. And since my dream has always been to be a successful published author...well guess what I'm working towards full steam now? Yup. Publishing.

So, if I knew by some whim that I would never be published, would I still write? Look, I am not Idealist Hildred. I'm more certainly not Optimistic Hildred. I am Realist Hildred, to the core of  my little blackened no1curr soul. No. No I would not. I would be out there hitting the pavement harder than ever, pushing myself into random people's houses in the valley looking for a 9-5 to make ends meet and find some sort of direction for my financial future. Because writing is my job. It's my career. Without publishing I don't have much chance at a good career.

My dream is to not only be successful financially, but successful because people like my work as well. Because they look forward to the next book I want to publish. Without being published I have no future dreams, or at least nothing as strong and important to me. I would still write, of course, because it's the best, but it would be a back-burner hobby. At best I would write a page a week, instead a few a day. And be pretty miserable at my 9-5, more than likely.

Thank God I'm going to be published, eh?

What about you, in case you don't follow The Eagle?

Help Out A Fellow Author Self-Publish - Untold Memories by Morgan Bauman

Earlier this month I introduced a Kickstarter funding project by my good friend Morgan Bauman, who is trying to (re)self-publish her series "Untold Memories". If you're not familiar with Kickstarter, it's a way to fund independent creative projects (such as self-publishing novels, making movies, etc) with varying degrees of donation. There's a set time (usually a month) in which donations are accepted. If the funding goal is not met, you are not charged. It's all or nothing.

The reason why I'm posting about this again is because Morgan's on the last week of her Kickstarter campaign and is barely at her halfway mark of $1500. If even a few people pitch in five dollars (the lowest donation level) then she'll raise up higher in the Kickstarter rankings and get more exposure to those browsing for projects to fund. It's still totally possible for this author to met her goals of publishing!

Here's the introduction as posted on the Kickstarter page:

"The Premise

A scientist mad with grief; a mother trying to escape guilt; a little girl's worst nightmare; a mistake with unforeseen consequences.
What if your life—your world—your memories—were a lie?
This is the premise for Untold Memories, a fantasy book series. Along the way, readers are invited to unravel characters' motivations, identify the causes that set the story into motion, and put together the pieces while immersed in a fantasy world where any false move could have dreadful ramifications.
The characters in Untold Memories must work with limited information, deal with the consequences of their assumptions, and struggle to cooperate despite drastic differences in their own perceptions of their world and situation. The setting of the first book is a highly regulated and controlled society that utilizes the inherent magic of different castes to maintain a rigid, hierarchical order.
Although the first book can be read on its own, it is a part of a four book arc that uncovers many of the mysteries and unanswered questions set up by the first book. There are four follow-up books that further build on the world and delve into the lives and stories of other characters while tying up loose ends. All lingering questions should be answered by the end of the book of short stories, which cover the lives and histories of most of the characters in the series."

There is also a  a sample linked to on the Kickstarter page. Even if you can't donate any money, help out a fellow author by spreading the word on your blog and on Twitter!

Survey Time! Did you hire a professional editor before self-publishing?

...Well, just as the subject says. I know that  vast amounts of you use beta readers, but I rarely see talk about hiring professional editors (who are quite expensive, of course) before taking the self-publishing plunge. So my curiosity is going lyke w0. Feel free to say whether yes or no in the comments.

Did you hire a professional editor before self-publishing anything?

Self-publishing? Please don't do this...

pfffft.

(NOTE: Leaving the 2 Truths & a Lie Game open for another day or so! Go check it out~)

Yesterday I went to the local independent bookstore in my...county...(sigh) and, of course, they have a "Local Authors" section. Since I come from a pretty small area, most of the books were self-published and contained mostly of poetry, guidebooks, and the occasional original novel. Seeing as how I am going into self-publishing myself,  I decided to see how stereotypical any of these books were.

Each book I opened was riddled with errors, awkward sentences, and in the case of one guidebook on nature trails, had mismatched captions. Oops.

If you've been following me for any number of months now, then you know that I'm a huge supporter of self-publishing. That said, a lot of the stereotypes that show self-published authors as being inexperienced, naive, and quick to jump the gun are not completely far-fetched. Aside from all the face-palm worthy errors I saw yesterday, there was also the horrible clipart + Comic Sans covers and spiral-bound novels - all costing at least fifteen dollars. The whole table was, while very encouraging to local authors, also a big flag of what probably not to do while self-publishing.

1) EDIT. Hello! Personal editing, betas, hiring professionals...all of this comes back to who you are and your brand. Yes, you as an author offering your books up for purchase, are a brand. Without a house to oversee your project every step of the way it's doubly up to you to do your own editing (including constantly studying grammar and writing trends) and to get others to help you.

2) Design. We're not supposed to judge books by their covers, but we do. While getting the perfect picture may not be feasible, it's still in your power, if you're overseeing the design and giving the okay of your jacket, to make sure the font is readable and placed in an appropriate place. If you just suck at design, then it may be time to bring in a professional or even a friend with a background in design.

3) Pricing. This is a lot harder to mediate when it comes to print, because you have to pay for your own costs incurred, but I saw a couple of original fiction books yesterday, less than 300 pages, selling for over $20 - paperback. I wouldn't pay that much for an author I love in paperback, let alone a total unknown that didn't even edit.

I want to see other self-published authors succeed just as much as I want to succeed at it myself...which is why all the tough love today. There definitely is a stigma against self-publishing out there and these are a lot of the main reasons why. Obviously I do not know these authors, but I get the sinking feeling that a lot of these errors and issues are a result of jumping the gun to get published as quickly as possible. I love you, authors, but no story is awesome enough that it doesn't need some good editing and further attention paid to it - and no story anymore deserves the horror that is Comic Sans.

Weekly Writing Check-In: Sometimes Sleep Really Is More Important

Writing wise, absolutely nothing was accomplished this week.  I can blame my day job for that.  It was an hour-packed week, with full days and a whole lotta commuting all over the prefecture. My one-day weekend was spent restocking on food, cleaning, and I think a shower is gonna be shoved in there somewhere.  Of course, I did my appropriate amount of "OMFG I SHOULD WRITE" but I was so exhausted every damn day that I always crashed early and still felt like death even after 10 hours of sleep. But that week is over and now it's back to regular hour fun times! Great timing too, because Nano starts in a little over a week!

 One of the things I did this week to unwind was read through a lot of blogs and forums, like I usually do, but this week that (and watching movies) was all my brain could handle. Something I came across was the recent development of Amazon signing up authors at a place that is definitely not writing-topic centered. As anticipated, most of the comments centered around how this will just mean more people will self-publish fan-fiction because we all know it's still super easy for "real" authors to get published by the big names.

I'm used to reading this sort of thing - most people, especially those who aren't involved in writing/the publishing world, are understandably ignorant to what's going on in today's market. But that doesn't mean it's still not a massive headdesk moment (and not to mention, gut stabbing) to always read "Authors who self-publish just suck and their stuff is obviously drivel. ALL THE TIME. If it was any good a real publisher would pick it up!" Not only is this just not true, it also erases all the self-published authors who have chosen to forgo even submitting to agents/publishers in the first place for whatever reason.

Of course, that doesn't mean that a lot of self-published stuff isn't still...well, obviously not ready for publication. Part of our jobs as authors is to recognize when our work is not ready, or when WE'RE not ready, for world release. It's easy for us to fall into the trap of excitement and lofty ambitions, especially when it's sometimes super hard for us authors to get any sort of material validation for our works. But that's how it goes. It still does not also mean that there's a LOT of good self-published stuff out there. I know I'm looking forward to getting an E-reader at the end of this year so I can start reading my To Read list on the cheap.

Bleh. Now excuse me. I seriously have to try and finish this chapter in time for Nano. If I'm super good this week I may even get  more editing done! Like I said, folks, lofty ambitions!

Why My Debut Novel Will Never Be Traditionally Published

...or, why I'm self-publishing it without even trying to find an agent/publisher to begin with.

Ever since declaring last year that I would be self-publishing my debut novel CROSS//Rebirth sometime in the near future (you know, when that whole editing thing is done with) I've been thinking more and more about the reasons why I've decided to go this route. I've written a post before about the pros of me self-publishing my novel - but now I would like to talk about why, well, my novel just doesn't stand a chance with traditional publishing with nothing to back it up.

Save for an awesome hello-thar miracle, the CROSS// series will never be picked up for traditional publishing without maybe seeing large success in the "indies" market. Why? Because the today's "traditional" market doesn't want it.

Here's why.

1. Not only is Rebirth the first part of a series, but the final draft will probably come to be about 325k words. Definitely over 300k, without a doubt. The first draft was near 350k. It took me three completed Nanowrimos and a lot of off-season writing to complete, and this isn't including all the discarded prologues I had before finally settling on a set that I really liked. And although I write science-fiction/fantasy (in this case, contemporary/urban fantasy) and am given a lot of leeway in terms of high word count, both of these things majorly count against me. Most "tips" I see online from agents and established authors suggest that debut authors keep their writing to under 200k. Oops. Yeah, not happening. Also, in this market, most agents/publishers aren't willing to gamble on series and want to see stand-alone stories from unknowns. Well, my novels will always be really, really long. And I will always be working on some big series. That's just how I've always been as a writer.

2. There is a lot of cursing. Like, a shitton. I joked at the end of the final draft that there were 135 "fucks' and even more "damns" and "shits". Guess what - I actually wasn't joking. And most of those haven't been cut out in subsequent edits (unless the whole chunk/scene was deleted) because it's in dialogue. My characters curse a lot. And they curse even more with the words we know and love since the series takes place in contemporary America and they all mostly speak American English.  This really isn't up for debate in my mind. However, I have deleted a lot of old "bitches" and a couple other victim-filled words that make me uneasy to see now. My way of thinking is...if it makes ME stop and look at it, it must be unnecessary. The gendered/sexuality slurs have been saved for making somebody look horrible ~just like in real life~.

3. So many queers the whole series looks like what you find at the end of the rainbow. Sexuality is a MAJOR theme of the series. Most characters should be considered queer until expressed otherwise. Boys love boys and girls love girls, although sometimes the girls love the boys too and the boys get put into a female body and boys are angsting about other boys because that's just not done andddd *huge breath*, guess what! Don't assume that the two MCs, while opposite sexes and genders, are going to end up together! Odds are higher that the FMC will end up with another woman and that the MMC will be ~forever alone~ (that's what happens when you're straight in this world, I guess.)

And after the recent debacle of authors being asked by prospective agents to either delete the queer characters or straighten them up ugh, no.  Not happening in a million years. Like, my head hurts just thinking about it.

4. There's occasionally "graphic" sex...and it ain't always sexy. Even just assuming that all of the sex in the series is of the heteronormative variety (hint: it's not), it's still probably too risque for most traditional places...especially when you consider that some of the sex scenes are purposefully just awkward as hell and even depressing at times. Now, the only sex that makes the final cut in any of my drafts are those that have something plot related happen in them, but in Rebirth that amounts to one actual graphic scene, one scene where sex is going on in the background (and heavily referenced to, because damnit, those characters are busy) one where a woman is giving herself a hand (see what I did there?) and, sadly, one that is assault. Only one of these scenes are explicit in the sense that the reader gets a play by play of what is happening, but it all leads up to the the part where somebody totally screws up and there is a lot of resentment for the rest of the book. But sex is sex to a lot of people. I may not be writing erotica or sex for the sake of sex (I save that for nano tbh~) but any sex is too much sex for some markets. And since it's plot related and related to one of the major themes (sexuality) it will be a hot day in Antarctica before those scenes get deleted or, save me, "fade to black".

5. If you couldn't tell, it's a really "adult" series. Then again I've never said that I write YA or below, and my target audience has always been adults with anything I write. But the market is very pointed towards YA at the moment and some agents I once looked at even two years ago are now calling only for YA. Plus, the term "adult" tends to turn a lot of people off - I mean, all that cursing and sex! Stuff that adults do! For shame amirite. Oh, and there's occasional drug use. And a lot of smoking. Not that much violence in comparison, actually. (Minus some abuse and guns.) But if there's anything that living in America has taught me, it's that sex is WAY MORE EVIL!!! than violence.

6. Finally, the POV is icky icky omniscient. I only got this memo this year, but apparently omniscient is so two centuries ago, you guys. Everything has to be third-person limited or MAYBE first-person on a good day. But omniscient? Apparently people turn their noses up at omniscient now. Which, like I said, was news to me. But if I go on and on about this point I'll have a completely different blog post I am saving for the future.

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I think if I only had one, maybe two of these points going on I could risk going traditional without too much damage. But as it is, CROSS// is just not traditional publishing friendly. And I am okay with that. I don't mind alienating potential readers for the story I want to tell in the way I want to tell it. I mean, I could still try, but what's the point when I don't really care and it would probably just be a bigger pain in the ass than it's worth? I'd have to wait a few months for a proper rejection, and in those few months in which I'm not allowed to do anything publicly with my MS I could be moving forward with self-publishing and getting my name out there.

Yeah, I like that one.

Anyone else got a story doomed in traditional publishing but has a good shot at being self-published? And furthermore...why is that? I bet it's all the gay sex, isn't it.

"But, like, why?"

This picture is amazing.

Since posting my intentions last week I've received some queries from friends / random strangers (don't you love how blogs work?) asking me why I plan to self-publish first before even trying to get published the old fashioned way...which is submitting my works to various (fantasy) publishers and crossing my fingers that they want to make me the next Big Seller.  I've already explained myself to most of those people, but overall it didn't seem like a bad blog topic idea.

I never really considered self-publishing as a foothold into the publishing industry until a few years ago when I attended a conference seminar that was all about tips for self-publishing (mostly, how to market yourself because it's all on you, bro.) I originally took it as a filler, but it ended up being the most informative seminar I attended that whole day. Since then I've thought about it off and on in terms of my long term goals for writing, and within the past year decided it's probably the most feasible option for me. Of course, as a kid and as a teen, I had fantasies about mailing off my manuscript to some huge publisher and having the editor go "YES. THIS. FOREVER!" and still do in a tiny little part of my ego.  But I am a huge realist, and in today's writing economy, the odds of me being picked up, even if a publisher does like my book, are slim to none.  Mainstream publishing is a fickle thing:  it's based around the current tastes of the public, including what is selling now and what the market wants to be selling.  So unless you happen to writing exactly what's up and hip at the very moment, you can expect a swift rejection or the request for a multitude of changes (...If I hear "how about some vampires?" one more time...) that you probably don't want to make.

Self-publishing, which is also sometimes called "vanity" publishing, gets a lot of flack, and for semi-good reason.  Basically, all it takes is money to get published, and then you can publish pretty much any dreck you want.  But it has its logical merits as well.  With most print on demand self-publishing, the author controls just about everything that goes on behind the production of the book, from cover to typos.  It does not take fancy companies to register with the Library of Congress or ISBN, which actually done on one's own without even the self-publisher can be cheaper.  And, most of all, the author retains all rights to the novel, including being able to have it published elsewhere later on if he/she so chooses.

It's pretty much all those things that attract me to self-publishing my first novel, if not more.  I like control, especially over my creative endeavors. I've had cover patterns and ideas for my novels since I first came up with them that I would love to see brought to life, and, damnit, you bet your face I want to retain all the rights for as long as I can. 

There is also the allure of building my own fanbase and gaining the support for my novels as they are, in case they are picked up by larger publishers one day.  I am a stubborn woman.  While I am definitely open to suggestions on ways to improve my novels, I do not appreciate being told to stick in a vampire because that's what sells (can you tell this has happened a lot?)  I like the idea of building my own fanbase on the web to prove to any future publisher that my works can sell with the main plot and idea as is, structural edits aside. I've met quite a few successful authors (from my po-dunk community, even) who started off self-publishing and now enjoy a solid career with their homegrown fanbase.  While I do not indulge in the delusion that that could be me tomorrow, it is comforting to know that it has worked for many others and I'm not just making up wild ideas about the process.

Money will be an issue up front, but I have spent more money on even more ridiculous endeavors.  As it is I do not plan to do too many bells and whistles - the most extreme I'll probably get is hardcovers because hardcovers are cool.  And as I said in my last entry, I really need something for me to save up for.  This is as much about me fulfilling a goal and a dream as it is satisfying my silly ego.

The hardest part will be choosing which self-publisher to go with.  Everyday I do more research, and it reminds me of when I was researching for the day job I have now - which company to apply to, who will give me the best deal/experience, etc.  In the end  I feel like I made the best possible choice there, so hopefully I can repeat that with publishing.  I'm still looking for experiences from other authors who have self-published, mostly based on what companies they went with and the goods and bads they had.  As I learned from researching my day job, it's easy to look things up on the internet - but you have no idea who is being paid off/sponsored/trolling/etc.  Everything conflicts to both extremes, so I always prefer hearing from people I know exactly exist and are not being fed dollars into their pockets to say whatever.

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As for actual writing, preliminary editing is still coming along, and the short story I've been promising is almost done.  Thanks to all who have been and continue to support me in my writing endeavors - you have no idea how much it means to me.