Riding on the coattail's of Jun's profile, we now bring you her main love interest and second main character of the JIAI JOUWA series, Saya. Unlike Jun, who has appeared in various other stories, "Daite." will mark Saya's first official appearance in the canon. I have been promoting her for almost a year now though, so she should look at least a little familiar! (If you've ever taken the character matchmaker quiz at the interactive site and gotten Saya as your match, well, now you'll know who you've been matched with!) Here we go!
---------------------------------------------------- BASICS: Name: Sayaka "Saya" Nemoto (根本紗華) (She often writes her first name in hiragana: さやか) Birthday: February 4th, 1987 Zodiac (Western): Aquarius Zodiac (Eastern): Rabbit Nationality: Japanese Birthplace: Shimane Prefecture Height: 5'0 Weight: 92 lbs. Voice: Medium Speech Patterns: Neutral
LIKES/DISLIKES:
Fave Color: Blues and Greens Fave Food: Breakfast foods Fave Drink: Tea Fave Music: Whatever is playing anywhere Clothing Style: Shorts (or pants if it's really cold) with a T-shirt or sweater. Hobbies: Traveling, meeting new people, going outdoors
CHARACTER:
Family: Mother, Father, Grandfather, Grandmother, Younger brother Sexuality: Lesbian Partner: None Best Friend: Has acquaintances scattered throughout the country Occupation(s): Professional WWOOFer, Temp worker Comes Off As: Hardworking, quiet, analytical Sub/Dom: Switch, but often initiates things.
PARAGRAPHS OF BIOGRAPHY STUFF:
Sayaka, who prefers to go by "Saya" as it isn't as feminine, was born in the southwestern prefecture of Shimane, the second least populated prefecture in Japan. Although technically not too far from the metro area of Hiroshima, Saya grew up on the far side of a mountain range and only ever knew her own intimate world growing up, full of farmland, traditional houses, and close-knit communities and families. She also only ever knew the small town, conservative mindset growing up. Her family struggled to support itself with odd jobs and community assistance, fostering an attitude to do little with material things in Saya's early life. During high school, something happened that caused her to drop out and eventually leave her tiny rural town.
Fed up with the life her community tried to feed her, Saya decided to see the rest of Japan and modern society on her own terms. She quickly became a professional "WWOOFER," or someone who does odd jobs around the country in exchange for room and board - and in Saya's case, a very modest payment that covers her costs to get around. Her forte is working on rural farms like the ones she grew up around. Basically, anything that lets her do some physical labor outdoors is something she loves. Saya does not typically cultivate close relationships. She learned from an early age that most people and their ideologies are not to be trusted, so she keeps her friendly acquaintances at a safe distance and does not let them know her too well. Therefore she has many "friends" she can visit and crash with across Japan, but no one she would call a true confidant. When she's not WWOOFing in the mountains of Hokkaido, the seasides of Kyushu, or the fertile plains of Chubu and Shikoku mikan groves in between, Saya bides her time in metro areas like Nagoya, Osaka, and sometimes Tokyo, where she stays with acquaintances and does temp jobs if she's staying for more than a month. Saya may not have many long-term goals or ambitions, but she does have one thing: the fact that she lives for no one but herself, an idea that never occurred to her while growing up in Shimane. However, she is not opposed to leaving some roots in one place for a little while - as in maybe once every other month "a little while." Traveling is in her blood, and the thought of settling down anywhere for more than a few weeks is near traumatizing. Saya is not the type of woman to give up her freedom to be on her own and discover the world at her leisure. Not even for love.
"There comes a time in every marketing ploy UH I MEAN campaign I do that I
feel compelled to expose everyone to my ~super secret~ character
profile stash, complete with illustrations from the Sims 3! Congrats,
readers, you're about the fall in that hole again."
...Were my infamous words almost EXACTLY a year ago (Sept 5th, 2012) when I was launching the initial campaign for "DAISUKI." (Remember that book? Oh, so long ago.) Back then was the very first peek into the profiles and lives of Reina and Aiko, now my most famous characters. As I gear up for the spinoff release JIAI JOUWA later this month, it's time to start over again!
I'm leading off with the main character of the first novel, Jun. You know Jun (probably) from REN'AI RENSAI. She had a prominent role in the NANPAKAI / CHINSEKI duo and appeared a couple of times in KOIBUMI. Oh look she has her own novel now wooo!
HERE COMES MORE THAN YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HER:
Name: Junri "Jun" Isoya (磯谷純理) Birthday: October 9th, 1975 Zodiac (Western): Libra Zodiac (Eastern): Rabbit Nationality: Japanese Birthplace: Sapporo (Hokkaido) Height: 5'9 Weight: 120 lbs. Voice: Medium Speech Patterns: Neutral LIKES/DISLIKES:
Fave Color: Red Fave Food: Italian Fave Drink: Tea, coffee, caffeine and alcohol in general. Fave Music: Rock bands from the 1990s. Clothing Style: Tailored business suits both at work and at home. Sometimes jeans and a T-shirt or the rogue skirt wind up in there too. Hobbies: Studying kanji, collecting old texts and woodblock prints, calligraphy, reading poetry (haiku,) going to bars.
Hokkaido kids love their snowboarding and skiing.
CHARACTER:
Family: Mother (Deceased,) Father (Deceased,) Uncle, Aunt, Cousin Sexuality: Lesbian Partner: None Best Friend: Yuna Miyazaki and Ayami Itou Occupation(s): General manager for family's hotel empire. Comes Off As: Friendly, Polite, Professional Sub/Dom: Switch, with preference for sub.
PARAGRAPHS OF BIOGRAPHY STUFF:
Jun was born into the Isoya hospitality empire, established by her great-great-grandfather. Growing up her father was chairman of the company, affording his immediate family a very comfortable lifestyle. However, when Jun was still in elementary school, her parents died in an airplane crash over the sea, leaving her an orphan and her family's empire on the brink.
Her uncle took over the company and Jun's upbringing. While technically a ward of her uncle, Jun had her own money from inheritance and mostly took care of herself, including cooking and cleaning the condo she also inherited. (She lived by herself from the age of 16, under her uncle's supervision.) This fostered in her an independent lifestyle that carried on into her adult life.
There's something poetic about ice cream in front of recycling bins.
Jun always knew that she wanted to go into the family business. She went to one of the top high schools in Sapporo that focused on leadership abilities and careers. While there she piccked up some less than desirable habits such as drinking and smoking, but the one habit she never thought of as dirty was becoming sexually active. Although she went to a co-ed school, she discovered she only had eyes for her female classmates. She had a few flings with some before graduating and attending the top hospitality school in Hokkaido.
A busy study and interning life forced her to reevaluate her private needs, the core one being her physical desires. Unable to dedicate the time necessary to find lesbian relationships in an underground society, Jun experimented with men and ended up with five casual-to-serious boyfriends throughout her college career. A return to lesbianism occurred when the last one proposed to her, and she realized a man would never make her happy.
After completing her degrees and internships, Jun was officially hired by her family's empire. She quickly rose the ranks until she was made the general manager of a smaller hotel shortly after her thirtieth birthday. However, Jun is not the type to be content with the bare minimum. She sees herself as the true heir to her family's empire and makes it her goal every day to prove that she should be made chairwoman one day. But given her sex and her androgynous style, her uncle feels that the investors of the company would be too put off to allow him to make anything official.
Sometimes you just have to put on a skirt and pose.
As Jun is a busy woman running hotels all day and constantly attending conferences across the continent, she has little time for relationships. Although she doesn't like to admit it, she has never had a real girlfriend. She has friends with benefits, but no one she would ever say she loves. This hurts her deeply as she considers herself a romantic who would like to spend at least part of her life with someone. She doesn't believe she should have to sacrifice any part of her career, though, so finding a woman who is willing to put up with her hours is a constant hindrance.
When she's not pining about love and sex, Jun enjoys solitary hobbies such as collecting and reading. Due to the nature of her family's empire (a Western hotel chain,) her everyday life is very Western, especially for Japanese society. This has led to her becoming interested in traditional Japanese culture, particularly in pre-Meiji eras. She collects old texts, woodblock prints, and studies archaic kanji that no one uses anymore. When she was in high school she achieved a high-ranking calligraphy level, and occasionally indulges when needing to blow off some steam.
When in want of a real sunset, sit beneath a picture of one.
As promised, I've got two new characters to introduce to you that will be making their debut in "KATAOMOI!" Now, the lovely ladies you see in these screenshots have been styled in the way they would dress today...even thought they're debuting back in 1997! (Mmm grunge.)
Originally only one of these characters were going to be in the story, but then I was, uh, "inspired" to add the other, and I'm glad I did. They were a lot of fun to write, and it's not often I get to write about non-sexual best friends in the Ren'Ai Rensai universe.
But enough about that. You don't care. You just want to meet the new ladies! Now, you don't get TOO much information. Not until the book's been out a couple of days. ;)
Yatsumi Katsuragi
Yatsumi is a no-nonsense woman when it comes to feminism, queer rights, and general activism. She is dedicated to her friends (who are not assholes, by the way) and often indulges their crazy loves and fantasies. Most people don't know this, but she's half-Chinese on her mother's side.
Mio Yoshioka
Mio has a few thousand skeletons in her closet, the biggest one being her previous relationship with Reina - of which she's still only a little bit bitter about. Mio is the type to fill the missing pieces of her life with second-hand replacements. She is best friends with Yatsumi, who is the only one to not make fun of her interests - or her past.
Remember! "KATAOMOI." is coming out TOMORROW, March 29th!
It's the third installment of the REN'AI RENSAI character profile series. Now we're moving away from the main characters to some of the more prominent minor characters.
Today's feature is the married neighbor Yuri Furusawa. Yuri, like the main characters, also appears sometimes in the main CROSS// series, and has a connection to one of the other main characters in that series. For that reason this profile may eschew some of spoilers from that series.
(Note: As the series jumps around a span of 20 or so years, profiles tend to cover everything in that time period.)
Name: Yuri Furusawa (古澤百合) Birthday: June 16th, 1978 Zodiac (Western): Gemini Zodiac (Eastern): Horse Nationality: Japanese Height: 5'0 Weight: 90 lbs. Voice: Mid-range to high. Speech Patterns: Feminine LIKES/DISLIKES: Fave Color: Purple, White Fave Food: Hamburg Fave Drink: Piña colada Fave Music: Pop music from the late 90s Clothing Style: Skirts and blouses Hobbies: Gardening, Shopping, Going to English speaking cafes.
CHARACTER:
Family: Husband, Daughter Sexuality: Bisexual Partner: Hiro Furusawa Best Friend: Aiko Takeuchi Occupation(s): Housewife Comes Off As: Friendly, Energetic Sub/Dom: Sub
Yes, she was just dared to come kiss you. Get over it.
PARAGRAPHS OF BIOGRAPHY STUFF:
Yuri grew up in an internationally inclined household - her father often went overseas for meetings while her mother taught English out of their home. Thus Yuri began learning English from an early age, to the point her family decided to start hosting exchange students for her to practice with. One summer they hosted an American girl, who dressed "like a boy" and had a short haircut. Yuri developed a crush on her and ended up having her first sexual experience with her host sister.
They continued a long distance relationship via snail mail until Yuri's mother intercepted one of her daughter's notes and expressed concern over the contents. Although no real confrontation was had, Yuri got the point that she was not allowed to behave "that way" and promptly broke up with her American girlfriend. She finished high school and went off to college with the intent of following in her father's footsteps, and ultimately moving overseas where she could be free of her mother's hovering. However, while in university she met Hiro, who became smitten with her and asked her out. They dated until graduation, upon which Hiro asked Yuri to marry him. Yuri convinced herself she was in enough love with him to marry him and forgo her dreams of living abroad.
"I swear, you REALLY care about my problems!"
Shortly after graduating, they married, and Yuri became pregnant. Towards the end of her pregnancy they moved into a house to start their family, and Yuri took up the mantle of housewife and mother. After the birth of her daughter, she further convinced herself that she had to become the perfect woman. Yuri threw herself into the mold of Japanese housewife, which killed her energy and estranged herself from her already super busy husband. A few years into their marriage, Yuri reunited with her ex-girlfriend and rekindled their affair. Although it only lasted a few days, Yuri discovered she truly wished to be with a woman instead, but Japanese laws and customs kept her beholden to her husband. Conveniently, her neighbor and close friend Aiko was also gay and available for an open relationship, and the two began a casual romance independent of their main relationships.
Yuri spends her days attempting to keep up her "perfect housewife" facade while dreaming of divorcing her husband and still running off abroad, with or without her daughter. While she knows it's not feasible until her daughter is an adult, Yuri consoles herself with what little she can outside her marriage. She has moments of guilt regarding her husband, but is also fairly convinced he has a girlfriend elsewhere and has decided to just let things fall as they do.
After the joy and fun of last week's character profile, I decided to, you know, follow it up with another one, right on schedule! Only two more to go after this one! And then, launch day!
Today's feature is the other main character of the REN'AI RENSAI series, Aiko Takeuchi..She's practically the polar opposite of Reina, so expect! A lot! Of exclamations!
(Note: As the series jumps around a span of 20 or so years, profiles tend to cover everything in that time period.)
I really need to learn to take solo screens of my Sims.
Birthday: September 12th, 1973 Zodiac (Western): Virgo Zodiac (Eastern): Ox Nationality: Japanese Height: 5'1 Weight: 95 lbs. Voice: Low Speech Patterns: Feminine LIKES/DISLIKES: Fave Color: Pink Fave Food: Grilled salmon Fave Drink: Gin Fave Music: Popular music from the late 80s//early 90s Clothing Style (Teens): Skirts and dresses Clothing Style (Adult): Jeans with Blouses, Occasional skirt/dress in hotter months. Hobbies: Cooking/Baking, Shopping, Reading, Watching and critiquing movies with lesbian couples.
Camera's over here, sweetie.
CHARACTER:
Natal Family: Mother, Father, Two older brothers, Two older sisters Sexuality: Lesbian Partner: Reina Yamada Best Friend: Yuri Furusawa Occupation(s): Student, Housewife Comes Off As: Naive, Friendly Sub/Dom: Sub, with inclination to switch.
PARAGRAPHS OF BIOGRAPHY STUFF:
Aiko grew up the youngest child in a sheltering family. Growing up it was impressed upon her that, while it was important for her to study and get a good degree, ultimately getting married to a man and having his children was her expectation. Thus Aiko harbored multiple dreams as a child of lavish weddings and idealized the symbol of the housewife in Japanese society. Each time she got a new boyfriend her dreams were renewed, but Aiko was quick to find that none of her boyfriends were an adequate match for her.
Always, always a proper lady~
Her studies revolved around the English language and Western culture, leading her to enroll in an all-women's university focusing on international studies after graduating high school. One day she visited her cousin's place of work and met Reina, who flirted with her and made Aiko consider her sexuality for the very first time.
As she began a relationship with Reina, Aiko realized she had to choose between her/society's ideals, and what would make her happiest. In the end she sacrificed her dreams of marriage and children to become a housewife for Reina, aware that nobody would ever take their relationship seriously, assuming they even knew. In the process, Aiko lost a majority of her friends and lost the respect of her family. Even in later years Aiko retains some of her naivete and has a habit of outing herself to the wrong people at the wrong time. Although she's in a controversial kind of relationship, Aiko remains sheltered in how people will truly react to her way of life.
Somebody really should make that bed.
She is an empathetic person, always trying to help those around her. This often leads her to overextending herself and falling deeper when she realizes her unemotional girlfriend won't support her. Over time Aiko begins to become more and more jaded, and although she continues to strive to be optimistic, reality often contradicts her. She goes in and out of lesbian oriented organizations with the intent to help, but is often rejected because of her girlfriend's philandering past. This has lead to Aiko having an isolated life, with the exception of one friend, her neighbor Yuri. She is also one of the only people outside of Aiko's family to know of her sexuality, let alone support her. Although Yuri is married and has a child, she later comes out as gay to Aiko and becomes one of her only lovers outside of her relationship with Reina. Even so, Aiko often wishes she had more friends and family that didn't force themselves to be polite to her.
On one hand Aiko tries to convince herself all her sacrifices in the social world were worth it so she could be with Reina, but on the other, her moments of despair and frustration have increased. Her desire to express her emotions (especially love) often clash with Reina's listlessness and boredom. Sometimes Aiko considers breaking off their twenty-year-long relationship, but in the end, her love for somebody she's not sure even loves her back is too strong. Aiko convinces herself it doesn't matter, but lives for the day when Reina will reciprocate her feelings, willingly and openly.
There comes a time in every marketing ploy UH I MEAN campaign I do that I feel compelled to expose everyone to my ~super secret~ character profile stash, complete with illustrations from the Sims 3! Congrats, readers, you're about the fall in that hole again.
I plan on doing four of these this month, even though the REN'AI RENSAI series only technically has two characters. Which means I'll post both main characters in a row than a couple random minor characters that appear in "DAISUKI." (and also come straight from the main CROSS// universe, and originally appeared there as well. Ha. Publishing order is weird.)
Today's poor victim put up for public viewing is the not-so-private but also not-so-outgoing (so you know, like most people) Reina Yamada. I decided to launch with her because she's the one I came up with first.
(Note: As the series jumps around a span of 20 or so years, profiles tend to cover everything in that time period.)
Is this seriously the best solo pic I have of her at 40? Srsly.
Name: Reina Yamada (山田麗奈) Birthday: December 3rd, 1972 Zodiac (Western): Sagittarius Zodiac (Eastern): Rat Nationality: Japanese Height: 5'6 Weight: 115 lbs. Voice: Low Speech Patterns: Masculine
LIKES/DISLIKES:
Fave Color: Blue Fave Food: Okonomiyaki Fave Drink: Beer (Sapporo Draft) Fave Music: Female songwriters from the 1980s Clothing Style (Teens): Baggy sweaters, jeans or short-shorts/mini-skirts. Clothing Style (Adult): Jeans with T-shirt or pullover. (Casual) Women's tailored suits. (Work) Hobbies: Sex, Going to bars, Watching TV
Just chillin' like a 20yo badass.
CHARACTER:
Natal Family: Mother, Father (Deceased) Sexuality: Lesbian Partner: Aiko Takeuchi Best Friend: Michiko Kawazama Occupation(s): Waitress, Singer/Dancer, Student, Corporate Drone (In order through series.) Comes Off As: Aloof, Charming, Lazy Sub/Dom: Dom. Always.
PARAGRAPHS OF BIOGRAPHY STUFF:
Reina is a mystery to everyone but herself. She lives life with the idea of "do what I want, to an extent", and this confuses just about everyone around her, who continue to live in the Japanese group mentality. While it estranges her from most of the people she meets, her charisma makes up for it and she usually ends up with a few friends for a few hours, wherever she goes.
Growing up Reina was an only child, the daughter of a housewife and a university professor. Her father was killed in a transportation accident when she was 14, throwing her mother into severe depression and the family unit into dire financial straits. Financial problems were compounded when Reina's mother decided to send her to a "prestigious" all girls private high school in northern Tokyo. It was at this school Reina first realized her attraction to other girls while also meeting her best friend Michiko, an American-born girl with a lot of self-confidence to share.
She only has one thing on her mind.
Reina earned a reputation for philandering that would last her entire life. Her relaxed attitude towards life and relationships leads her to becoming the "experiment" for other women looking to try a different kind of sexual relations. While Reina doesn't mind this and even welcomes it at times, she does get tired of seeing the same women turn around and return to the "easier" heterosexual lifestyle. For Reina her sexuality's never been a choice, even when her mother threatened to throw her out for being a stain on her father's legacy. To ease the tension in her house, she got a job right out of high school as the underaged waitress at the only lesbian stripclub in the country. Although she enjoyed her job (the perfect place to pick up lesbians, after all), after a year she saw an ad for theater rehearsals and thought she could make more money doing it. She ended up just becoming an idolized pony show every weekend.
I had another version with epic polygon fail.
However, one of her groupmates had a habit of bringing her family around the theater, and that was how Reina met Aiko. Although Reina never thought it would lead anywhere (other than Aiko running off with an old boyfriend, like women were wont to do) they started "dating" and eventually became girlfriends. Even though Reina had slept with nearly hundreds of women before, Aiko was her first "official" girlfriend. Yet they were still the oddest couple in the gay district, since with becoming girlfriends Reina stipulated she still wanted the freedom to sleep with other women. Aiko agreed, on the condition they "did it together".
Being in a relationship forced Reina to reevaluate her role in life, especially when she was partnered with the "girliest girl" imaginable. Aiko's only real dream was to become a homemaker, and in order to make that happen for her, Reina quit her job at the theater, cut off her hair, and enrolled in university. After graduating she got a job as a desk drone at a corporation. Soon Aiko's great aunt died, leaving Aiko a paid-off house in the Tokyo suburbs. Reina and Aiko moved in together, and became an odd representation of a typical Japanese married couple.
AWESOME BENDER, BRO.
As years passed, Reina adopted a more masculine appearance to go alongside her already masculine speech and mannerisms. Her life began to revolve around work with odd moments of play, and as the economy in Japan weakened more and more, Reina became paranoid about losing her job because of her gender and sexuality. While at home and in the bars she remained the same aloof and lazy Reina everybody knew, at work her paranoia reached a point where it solidified in her brain and she began to develop Gender Identity Disorder. In Japan, everyone is expected to take up a rigid gender role, and if Reina wasn't a "woman", then she had to be a "man". This lead to her becoming strictly dominant in the bedroom, and incapable of acknowledging her old and abandoned feminine side.
Throughout her life Reina has only had a couple people considered close to her and are subsequently the only women she's acknowledged feelings for: her best friend Michiko, who returned to America when Reina was twenty and visits every so often, and Aiko, who has stuck by Reina's antics for twenty years. Others either see her as too selfish to deal with, or a fun friend for certain times, so long as they're not seen around her outside the gay districts. Reina takes this in stride and even prefers it, being naturally reclusive until her libido sparks up. Her reputation as a womanizer precedes her, and it's rumored she's slept with 300 women. Of course, only she knows the real number. Maybe. She's not the type to keep track or care. Her lack of caring about most things (aside from hiding herself at her job) has made her almost completely incapable over the years of expressing herself or her emotions. Her attitude is to bottle everything up and pretend "feelings" don't exist. But she is human, and does have feelings. Including those annoying ones like "love". Sometimes.
Well, maybe "free love".
This is my first time noticing those creepy giraffes.
Same Sim time at the same Sim place next Wednesday!
Today's the "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Blog Hop" hosted by Jaycee DeLorenzo and Victoria Smith! Let's just cut right into the meat of things:
Here are the details:
Interview a heroine of your manuscript, novel, or WIP by a fellow
female counterpart also from your written work. Your featured heroine
can be interviewed by her best friend, a heroine from another one of
your written works, a sister, the opportunities are endless!
Have your heroine answer at least 3 of the questions recommended below or make up your own!
Post a picture of your heroine, the interviewer, or both!
Post a song for the theme of the interview or a song that reflects your featured heroine's personality
Well, I ended up writing a 2k short story. Oops? Heh heh. It works though. I had a lot of fun writing it in about 2 hours about...an hour ago. I've only edited it once since then so sorry for any typos.
Of course, the usual warnings: Swearing, naughty talk, and the usual crap that falls out of their mouths. And alcohol, apparently.
And here's your obligatory picture. I went hunting through my Sims 3 screenshots folder and found this random one of them hanging out in a club at the bar. The clothes are wrong, the scenery is wrong, but hey, the intent is the same and I don't have to go taking new screenshots! Also, just like in the story, there's a Devon cameo.
"The bartender" may or may not have weaseled her way into the story. Also, I have no idea why Devon is fuming at Danielle.
You still with me? We still gonna do this? Great. Because here we go in all it's 2k short story glory.
------
The bar
door slammed open to admit Danielle in all her embittered glory while she whipped
off her jacket with a snarl. A few other bar patrons glanced up and noted her
furrowed brows and decided it best to ignore the stomping monster en route to
the bar.
“Bad
day?”
Danielle
slumped onto a stool and flung her jacket onto the bar. Beside her sat Miranda,
legs crossed and fingers flipping through a fashion magazine. Danielle wanted
to vomit at the stench of her musky perfume – her senses were heightened to the
point she thought she could also smell Miranda’s dark eye shadow. Crushed up
Crayons, maybe? Or maybe that’s just how it looked on her.
“Bad
day.”
“Aw,
what happened?” Miranda lowered her magazine and pursed her lips in Danielle’s
direction. “Childhood get ruined by the Internet?”
“No.”
Danielle saw the bartender, a young woman with her hair high in a ponytail and
a dress made for dancing in, come over and nod her head at her. “Highball. On
lots of rocks.”
The
bartender chuckled and wandered off to get Danielle her coveted whiskey. Miranda
averted her eyes from the bartender’s bouncing locks to Danielle’s limp blond
hair. “Going straight for the hard stuff, I see.”
“Yeah,
so? I ain’t driving tonight. What’s that there, a martini?”
Miranda
checked her empty martini glass, the green olive left for better individuals
who could enjoy them. “My, you’re astute today. What’s wrong with you?”
Danielle
laid her head on the counter and stared sideways at Miranda around the corner.
From that angle she could see Miranda’s manicured nails scratch against the
glossy magazine cover of a starlet promising to make men’s genitals harder. “You
ever just had a bad day? I am having a bad day. By the way, it’s a bad day.”
Danielle watched Miranda roll her eyes and then continue perusing her magazine.
“Why are you reading that trash? Since when do you care about getting dicks
off?”
Miranda
flipped the magazine closed over her thumb and peered at the cover – she chuckled
at the outlandish promises nobody in that bar probably cared about. “It amuses
me. The shit in here is so ridiculous. And the quizzes are fun, because I love
knowing how I really feel about my man.”
The
bartender returned, dropping a napkin before placing Danielle’s drink on top of
it. Danielle gave guttural thanks and hocked back a drink large enough to burn
both her trachea and stomach. She placed the glass onto the counter and considered
the bubbles in her drink. “And how do you really feel about your man?”
“Well
let’s see, there’s this quiz in here. Want to do it?” Miranda’s smile was
priceless in its goading.
Danielle
shrunk further into her seat. “Just a second.” She slammed back another drink
and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Okay, hit me.”
“Okay
then.” Giving an imbibing Danielle a sex quiz about men should be worth the
vomiting and hangovers Miranda would have to see later. “Question One:boxers or briefs?”
“Boxers.
Soooo much more comfortable. Especially flannel ones in the winter when I can’t
find my sweats and…”
“They
mean on men, Danielle.”
“Oh. Why
the hell do I care? I ain’t lookin’. Gross. Next.”
“Uh huh.
Are you sure you want to do this? Or should I just let you get drunk?”
“I ain’t
drunk. Yet.”
“That…that
was what I was getting at.” Miranda sighed and looked at the magazine again. “Alright,
well, next is…’How would you describe your hero?’ Oh, that’s fun.”
Danielle
reached out and took Miranda’s empty martini glass and brought it over to her
lolling head. She picked out the olive and stared through its eye as if it were
a kaleidoscope. “A hero? I need a hero? I could be your hero? It’s raining
heroes?”
The
bartender appeared again and bent down to see what Miranda read. “Oh my God, is
that the quiz about what you like about men or some shit? My girlfriend totally
made me do that one just to haze me the other day. I told her I like my heroes
to have long hair and wield golden lassos.” She took the martini glass and
slunk away again.
“Was she
talking about Wonder Woman?”
“Yes,
Danielle. Do you want your hero to be Wonder Woman?”
“Yessssss.
I want her to tie me up and make me tell the truth.”
“Fine.
Next question is, ‘What’s your biggest dating horror story?’ And it better not
include me.”
Danielle
stared at the spot where the martini glass once was and blinked water back into
her eyes. “Oh, that’s easy.” She sat up straight and looked at Miranda as if
she were as clear-headed as the day of a big test. “It was here in this bar,
actually. Yeah, some girl named Amy. We were gonna go back to my place to hump
like monkeys when I went into the bathroom and saw blood all over the place. It
was great. Guess what I didn’t get to do that night.”
“When
you say ‘blood all over the place’…”
“I mean
my period, genius.”
“Of
course you do. Have another drink, Danielle.”
Complying,
Danielle picked up her highball and slurped another drink down. “What’s next?
What’s my favorite penile position? Because…dicks…”
“You
have such an elegant way with words.” Miranda turned the page and giggled. “’What
turns you off from a guy the most?’” she asked with a smile.
“Penis.
Semen. Semen makes babies.” Danielle drank again, her limbs growing numb and
her brain far from lucid. “Babies bad. Babies tear your taint, and your wallet.”
“Lovely!”
Miranda signaled the bartender for another martini. “I think they meant
personality wise. Or something physical, beyond the penis. They aren’t thinking
of child-hating dykes when they make these things.”
“Oh,
fine. I don’t like…” Danielle paused, distracted by her fascinating fingers. “Huh?
I don’t like…oh my God, did I ever tell you about Seth? The guy who I once
tried to do but bailed because we didn’t have condoms and he was too
chicken-shit to walk across the street with me to buy some? I hate that guy.
Yeah, I hate that.”
“Careful,
the other dykes might hear you talking about you and penis.”
“It was
a long time ago!” Danielle flung her arms up in the air and looked over her
shoulder at the other women in the bar. Most were either in couples or small
groups, chatting about their lives while pushing back tamer stuff than what
Danielle had. Yeah, they didn’t care. Danielle would bet half of them were bisexual
like her anyway. “Come on, give me another one. This is getting fun.” She saw
her half-drunk highball. “Or I’m getting drunker. Either way.”
Miranda
peered at her over the magazine just as the bartender brought her a new
margarita. She clamped her hand over the top before Danielle could dive in an
attempt to steal the olive. The previous one still rolled around on the counter
from where Danielle dropped it earlier. “Okay, ‘What is the best date you’ve ever had?’ Do tell me
more about your period, while you’re at it.”
“Any
date I get laid.” Danielle then remembered the last part. “Oh, and no blood.
Since you asked.”
“Wonderful.
Well, at least you seem easy enough to please.” Miranda sipped her margarita and
then read, “’Kiss on the first date?’”
“Sweetie,
I will fuck your brains out on the first date.”
“With men?”
“Oh.
Maybe. Does he have a condom? Am I on my period?” Danielle opened her arms and
looked towards the shadowy ceiling.
Miranda
gaped at her before saying, “I don’t think you need condoms for a kiss,
Danielle.”
“Then
you don’t know how I kiss!” Danielle slammed her fist onto the counter. “I kiss
good.”
“Do you
even know what you’re talking about anymore?”
“Not
really.” Danielle finished off her highball in one swallow. She burped, folded
her arms on the counter, and shoved her head into her own embrace. “Go on. Tell
me more about how much I love me some dick. While you’re at it turn to page
thirty-two and tell me how to give great head.” She poked an eye above her arm
and stared at Miranda. “You would
know about that, I hear.”
Miranda
did not entertain her beyond what the next question said. “’What gets you a
second date?’”
“Your
beautiful face.”
“Ah, how
sweet! Are you drunk?”
Danielle
admittedly could not see two inches past her own nose. How could she know if
Miranda’s face was beautiful? It could have changed in the past two minutes. “Yes.
It’s wonderful. Bad day is going away.”
“You’re
so sweet when you’re drunk. That tells me a lot about you, so you should tell
me ‘What one thing tells you a lot about a person’.”
“Their
reaction to me saying ‘Roe vs. Wade’.”
“I like
it. Political with sexual implications.”
“Nothing
we women do is not political.” Danielle coughed into her arm, unaware of the approaching
bartender.
“Do you
want another?”
When
Danielle didn’t answer, Miranda shook her head on her behalf. The bartender
took the highball glass before Danielle could try to eat it. “Okay, Danielle,
before you die there’s one more question. Do you want to hear it? Danielle?”
Danielle
banged her head against the counter; clearly, a nod.
“’What
do you find most attractive in a man?’”
“Vaginas!”
The
chatter around them grew quiet – Danielle’s vibrant shout continued to echo
within the bar wall. The bartender stifled a giggle and the nearest pair of
dating dykes pointed before busting out laughing. “Fuck yeah, vaginas!” a woman
called from the gallery.
“I love
vaginas!”
“Me too!”
“Baby, I
love your vagina.”
“Oh,
yay!”
While
the lesbian love fest got underway in the peanut gallery, Miranda nudged
Danielle’s arm and then pricked a finger through her unresponsive short hair.
When she didn’t respond, Miranda leaned back and, with a sigh the size of the
room, closed her fashion magazine and shrugged at the bartender. Danielle began
to snore.
A few
minutes later the bar door opened, and an awkward hush fell over the room.
Miranda craned her neck around to see a short dark figure wade its way through
the throng of women all looking at it suspiciously. She held up her hand so the
figure could see her.
When
Devon reached the counter he yanked Danielle’s head back and clicked his tongue
against the back of his throat. “Drunk? Or dead?”
“Drunk.
Highball in less than ten minutes. Do you expect less?” Miranda crossed her
arms and shook her head at the lingering bartender. “We were discussing the
finer points of boxers, periods, and vaginas.”
“Yeah,
well, she’s out. When she left us earlier she had already had like five beers
so I’m not surprised.” Devon tugged Danielle’s body out of the stool and lifted
her into his arms. “I’ll take her home.” He turned and saw the dozens of eyes
staring at him with contempt. “Um…”
“You’re
in a lesbian bar, by the way.”
“Of
course I am. Of. Course. I. Am.” Devon shifted Danielle’s weight until he knew
he could carry her out of the bar without hitting her head against a chair, a
table, or a lesbian. “Night.”
Miranda
leaned her head against her hand and watched him maneuver Danielle through the
crowd and out the door held by a woman looking at him as if he were a caveman.
It made Miranda smile.
“Who was
that?” the bartender asked.
“Some
guy she knows. He’s harmless.”
“You
just gonna let him make off with your drunk woman like that?”
Miranda
laughed. “My woman? What makes you
think that?”
“Well,
just the way you two were…I mean…” The bartender blushed. “Never mind. Vaginas.”
Miranda
lifted her martini glass up. “Vaginas!”
“Vaginas!”
came another chorus.
“Yeah,
sorry.” The bartender stepped away.
After
another second Miranda lowered her arm and asked, “Is it that obvious?”
“What?
That you’re in love with her? Just a little.”
Watching
the bartender walk away, Miranda fingered the glossy cover of the magazine and sniffed
at her margarita. She looked at the magazine and read the headline, “Let’s talk
about men!” through narrowed eyes. She finished off her margarita and tossed
the magazine into the nearest trashcan.
---
Yay! For your listening pleasure, here's the fierce and flawless Kumi Koda telling us about dem menz in the clubz. I think it's fairly obvious when you watch it while it's included here as the soundtrack piece.
Name: Sayaka "Saya" Nemoto (根本紗華) (She often writes her first name in hiragana: さやか)
Fed up with the life her community tried to feed her, Saya decided to see the rest of Japan and modern society on her own terms. She quickly became a professional "WWOOFER," or someone who does odd jobs around the country in exchange for room and board - and in Saya's case, a very modest payment that covers her costs to get around. Her forte is working on rural farms like the ones she grew up around. Basically, anything that lets her do some physical labor outdoors is something she loves. 
