SUPER AWESOME 300TH ENTRY PARTY POST!!!

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR KIDS! Yes, I've hit post 300 on this blog. Yes, it's time to dump a bunch of gifs and random stats that mean nothing. NOTHING. Feels like just one year ago I was celebrating #100. Oh wait, I was!

I think # 200 was back in March or something. These posts tend to be about six months apart so uuuh there you go~

ANYWAY, what has happened since Post 200? LOTS OF STUFF! Let's take a look:

• Moved back to America from Japan. 
• Started my own business.
• Published my very first book (as of yesterday)
• Gained 30 pounds (lol I am dead serious.)

Wow, I was busy! Quick, somebody alert my parents! They think all I do all day is play on the computer and harass my cat. Only one of those things is even remotely true.  Kinda.

So, at this moment, life is fairly good. Wish I had a better social life, but I'm making my way there. Having a better social life requires money to move away from here/travel, and money requires putting out more HIGH QUALITY BOOKS. Heck yeah.

But what do you all care about that. You guys come to these posts for the gifs and and CRAZY STATS I HAVE. Remember when I was getting like...20,000 hits a day from Russian and Chinese bots? Yeah? How's that still going?

Pageviews today 34 Pageviews yesterday 216 Pageviews last month 5,149 Pageviews all time history 276,432

Bots are finally starting to leave me alone! That's both cool and kinda sad, let's be real. But where are my remaining (non reader) hits coming from? TO THE KEYWORD TOOL.

oh...the keyword isn't going to work, huh. Well fine. i'm sure it was just more German hentai bees anyway.

 BUT. I did find something really curious in my most recent stats. Seems that somebody linked to me on a Chinese forum, as linked here. (Scroll down until you see me!) Basically, it's a subforum for singer Laure Shang, and last week I binged on her and she popped up in my "most listened" last.fm tweet. Apparently somebody at this forum tracks the Laure Shang tag and saw me there and got all excited? The basic translation of the post is that "Hey here's an American female writer who listens to Laure Shang! Here's her website!"

So now I feel propelled to do this:

你好中国!!

And this:

I am in your China. Chasing away your bots.

WHELP I wish this party post could have more to it, but I have editing / formatting to do in lieu of having a social life, so I'm just gonna dump a bunch of happy gifs on you. And a Laure Shang video. Because apparently she's the mascot of the blog now.

UNTIL MARCH FOR POST 400, IN WHICH I WILL TALK ABOUT MY AUTHORLY FORTUNES I HAVE AMASSED BWAHAHAHA.

 

Oh, life.

There is STUFF happening.

No blog post today because I am preparing STUFF for you, yes YOU! Check back tomorrow for a huge post announcing something to knock your socks off! And back on again! That's how monumental it is! Sheesh!

Okay fine have a gif.

SUPER AWESOME 200TH ENTRY PARTY POST!!!

Well, look at what time it is again! How about that! It's time for another party post to celebrate this blog's 200th entry! Hard to believe that the last one was just in September. In fact, it's almost been exactly six months. Does that mean we'll be having a party post every six months? Maybe! Who cares! More gifs and stat fun! There's also a contest at the end of this post, so stick around!

That's right Pikachu. That's right.

 Since last making a party post, a couple things have changed in this blog. First, which most people probably never noticed, I've stopped mirroring posts at Livejournal. It was just too annoying. Yup. Second, I have over 110 followers! Awesome! I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my entries and even comment on them. What's the point of talking to myself?

I've also started posting on a more regular schedule, as can be seen on the right. Oh, but you don't care about that. Before getting to contest crap, you're here to read about my wonky-ass stats.

Y'all are creepers.

At the time of posting this entry I currently have over 220,000 views. Now, before y'all go willy-wally on me and start asking me "WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?" and "GURL ADSENSE THIS PLACE UP" I think we should talk about where all (or about 95%) of these views are coming from.

Blogger says:

COUNTRIES:

Ukraine

4,413

Russia

3,270

Germany

1,256

United States

1,025

Latvia

493

United Kingdom

454

China

388

lol gonna just stop there. You can already guess what's going on. Bots love my ass. Either that or I am a god in Latvia and nobody's informed me. REMEMBER OJ SIMPSON?  But nobody actually cares about the bots that plague my place and thus would never click on Adsense ads (crying shame. Because I obviously want to bombard all my human readers with ads.) Nope. Time to check out search terms! There's some really  good ones in here this time! fantasy maps - 4 how much adco metronidazole to give dogs -2 middle earth tolkien map - 2 powered by phpbb equine science degree - 2 профсоюзное право контрольные - 2 aleah jasmine vancouver escort - 1 animalhentai porn video gallery - 1 I think what gets me is that the last two people searching for those...terms...actually clicked on my damn blog. I mean, what? I can't. This is not a Vancouver escort hentai blog. Okay, well, we did. I'll shut up now. Guess I'll just have to talk about the contest then. To celebrate 100 posts, I posted a character profile template. Since I have way more followers now, I think it's time to up the ante a bit. You know, I've been editing a lot lately. I'm kinda tired of critically reading my own stuff. Maybe it's time to critically read somebody else's stuff? Since I'm poor (and moving abroad. Again.) it's kinda hard for me to have a contest that costs me money at this point in time. So to celebrate 200 entries of Musings of a Procrastinating Author, I'm having a First 20 pages critique contest! First drafts, final drafts; original fiction, fan-fiction (although it may help if I know the fandom, eh?); adult, young adult...I'll read it and critique it if you win. The only thing I'll ask for is forewarning of unsettling content, if applicable.  So, want an honest critique of any draft of WIP of yours? I'm game. Just follow these guidelines to enter! 1) Follow this blog Odds are you already do. Moving on! 2) Comment on this entry and somewhere state you intend to enter, please. 3) This contest will be decided via raffle. Here's how to get "tickets" into the raffle.      a) Comment on this entry. You're gonna have to do this anyway, but it's an auto-ticket!      b) Tweet about it with a link to this entry. One extra ticket. (leave link of proof in comments)      c) Blog about it with a link to this entry. Two extra tickets. (leave link of proof in comments)      d) Any other social media advertising. One extra ticket each. (leave a link of proof in comments)          Only one comment on this entry can get you a raffle ticket.  4) Add your name and email to the Link List below after you've done 1 & 2. Please use the name that you comment here with.  5) List will close on Friday, March 30th. That's 10 days to enter! CLOSED

That's it! Thank you for reading another 100 entries at my blog! Here's to 100 more!

Hooray!